Angel (Lapidot)
by thisismysecretidentity
Summary: This started out as a one-shot but I liked it, so – here you are, a slowly growing story. Peridot is an angel; Lapis is a troubled young woman; Peridot is assigned to help Lapis. Rating won't go too high, I'm just paranoid... Trigger warning since there are some hard topics i.e. cutting and PTSD and depression, so beware. I think it's pretty good though. (Eventual romance)
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N: I'm publishing this as a Christmas gift to you all before I leave** **for vacation. I'll be gone until January 9-10th. Until then, happy reading!]**

Peridot hated her job.

Most people would be overjoyed if they could do what she did, but she'd easily rant about how after three and a half centuries of helping mortals, it gets routine. Boring. Tedious. At first she had been happy. Really, who wouldn't want to be an angel? Big fluffy wings, cool powers (invisibility, the ability to walk through walls, flight), and the chance to help the innocent: it's a dream come true! So when Peridot, at the age of twenty, had a terrible accident and found herself an angel among other angels up in the heavens – well, she was both devastated and ecstatic, but mostly ecstatic; she didn't have any good family or friends left, so leaving Earth wasn't too bad.

Five years of training and she was deemed ready to go out and help the general populace. She was assigned to some depressed human and had to help them, either until they gave up on life or until they were ready to move on by themselves. It sounded so glamorous (changing the world, one person at a time!), and at first, it seemed so too. She was to show herself to the human, encourage them, help them; basically be a therapist for them until they could work out their problems. _Pretty cool,_ she told herself. _Pretty cool._

But being an angel wasn't all it was cut out to be. And goodness knows Peridot found that out. Time after time she was set to help some poor human who had lost sight of their future. Usually she succeeded in helping the mortal shape up; once in a while she failed, and that left her sad for a while, but she got over it. She always got over it. And then she was sent out again. Let me tell you, after a while, she got tired of her job. The first time was exciting; the third time was nice; the fifth time was pleasant; the tenth time was okay; the fifteenth time was routine; the twenty-fifth time was boring, and so were all the times after that. She always showed a smiling face to the mortals, even when she felt like punching someone – it was part of her job, to act like a stereotypical perfect angel. Three to five years she spent per mortal, helping them up when they were down, encouraging them, pretending to love them and support them even though inwardly, she grumbled about how 'seriously? This has happened before and it'll happen again. History just repeats itself and I'm really tired of watching it.'

When she wasn't working, she watched the centuries pass with a mingled sense of amazement and dread. Now it was the year 2015 and the whole world was full of technology that awed her. She wished for a break, a chance to go and experiment with it, but it was not to be. The irritable Peridot, tired after three years of working with a person who ended up falling too far into misery to be saved, was all too soon assigned to a twenty-year-old girl living in the dirty suburbs of some city or other.

 _Grand. Yet another of those miserable humans. And I must go and try to pick up this person from the dumps of life that she fell into somehow._ Peridot rubbed her forehead in annoyance as she swooped over the rooftops of the city. From her bird's-eye view, the city was really quite a sight to behold; Peridot wasn't in the mood to appreciate it, though. All too soon she arrived at the location where she sensed the girl to be; some run-down coffee shop in a poor neighborhood. Now she just had to watch her subject until the time was right to reveal herself.

As she waited, she ran over whatever information she had about the girl. _Twenty years old last month, lives in an apartment on her own. Works at that coffee shop, apparently. Depressed, with PTSD from some unspecified incident as a teenager. Single and homosexual. Her father is dead; her mother doesn't bother with her very much. Self-sufficient and stubborn, according to some Watchers. Her name is Lapis Lazuli; she goes by Lapis. That's all I know about her personality. Visually, she's rather attractive: wild blue-dyed hair, ocean-blue eyes, tanned skin, and a charming smile. Not, of course, that her appearance matters._ It wasn't much to work with, but hopefully she could find out more soon. All she had to do was wait for a moment when the girl was alone, then appear to her. For now, Peridot would just maintain invisibility and hang around out here, peeking over people's shoulders to see their phones and marvel at the cool technology.

Finally, a while after the sun sank over the horizon, the coffee shop emptied of the few customers it had and the girl – Lapis, Peridot reminded herself; she should think of the girl as Lapis – exited. She waved as she left, and the short girl behind the counter waved back cheerfully – so Lapis was probably not friendless, concluded Peridot dully. Following protocol, she fluttered after her subject as Lapis trudged home. There were too many people around in the streets, so she couldn't show herself now.

Lapis unlocked her door, yawning. It was a small, one-room apartment, Peridot noticed uninterestedly. A bed, a small kitchen, and a tiny bathroom; that was all. It was awfully messy though. Obviously Lapis didn't bother to clean up after herself, which was rather exasperating to Peridot, who had always liked neatness. But that was beside the point. Lapis was alone, and now was the perfect time to reveal herself.

Peridot had found through experience that it was best not to startle her subject into screaming at the sight of a mysterious figure appearing out of nowhere. She knew better ways to introduce herself, and in this case, fell back on a classic trick. Staying outside, she waited for a minute, then solidified herself and knocked on the door.

"Who could that be?" she heard the young woman inside ask herself. She really had quite a nice voice; melodic and gentle. Peridot found herself taking more interest than she usually did in her subjects. After all, not all humans were attractive young females – but of course that was beside the point, wasn't it. The door opened and Lapis's eyes fell upon the angel standing outside. It must have been quite a sight. Blonde haired and green-eyed, Peridot would have looked strange no matter what. The enormous feathery wings sprouting out of her shoulders just enhanced that image.

"Hello," Peridot said, forcing herself to sound cheerful. "I'm Peridot."

"Hi." Lapis was obviously shocked and confused, but she hid it rather well. "I'm Lapis. Are you an angel?"

"Yes." The reply was matter-of-fact. The truth was, Peridot was slightly impressed; people usually though she was a prankster or something. "I'm your guardian angel now, actually. Apologies for being so blunt and all, but yeah, I'm gonna be hanging out with you for the next however long it need be." Peridot's ways were strange: she told her subject the whole story. Most angels just said they were here to help or something, and hid their wings – Peridot didn't like that method. And her way worked in most cases, so she stuck to it.

"Uh... if you say so." Lapis stepped back. "Come in then, I guess. Sorry about the mess." As Peridot stepped in, she heard Lapis mumbling to herself. "More of these weird hallucinations... they've never talked before, though..."

"I'm not a hallucination." The angel didn't even pretend she hadn't heard. It was important that this was clear to Lapis. She hovered a few inches above the ground, avoiding the mess.

"But angels aren't real," Lapis countered.

"They are, and I am one." Peridot was going to have to reveal more than she usually did, but convincing the girl was important. "Peridot Diamante, born 1695, died 1715. I've been helping mortals ever since then. You were singled out as needing help so, here I am."

"Okay. So even if you are an angel, which is totally bizarre because I highly doubt they exist, you've still got something wrong. I don't need help. I'm doing fine." Lapis closed the door and leaned against it as she spoke, obviously tired.

"Yes, you're doing fine, but you're suffering from depression and PTSD as well as some other minor conditions. I'm here to help." Peridot wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"This is too weird to deal with right now," Lapis finally said after a minute of silence. "I'll deal with this later. For now, I'm just gonna go take a shower. Don't look – whether you're a figment of my imagination or not."

"I'll be here when you come back," Peridot told her, seating herself in the air as if there was an invisible chair. She wasn't surprised by Lapis's reaction; most people reacted with disbelief and she was used to it. "No rush. I have all the time in the world."

Lapis left, still mumbling to herself in disbelief.

 _Well, this will be interesting,_ the angel thought to herself as she watched the slender human pick her way across the trash-littered floor and slip into the bathroom to shower. _Perhaps I'll start by getting her to clean up her house. Then her life. Then I'll be done and I can move on again. No big deal... she's just another poor mortal, after all. One among the others. Just a... particularly nice-looking girl with a bad story and a future that might be looking up._


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N: This story was originally intended to be a one-shot but hey, I liked the idea. So here you go.]**

 _Unbelievable,_ Lapis groaned to herself as she grabbed her clothes and shut the bathroom door behind her. For a moment she wondered about the so-called angel. Some... some prank, or a hallucination, or _something._ It couldn't be a real angel; there was no such thing... was there? It must be just a figment of her imagination. _But... Peridot Diamante? Where on earth would I have come up with THAT from_? She rubbed her nose and, as an afterthought, locked the bathroom door. Of course if this Peridot was an actual angel, or a hallucination, she could probably come through the door, but better safe than sorry. Lapis sighed. She was probably just too tired to think straight. Everything would be better in the morning. She hoped. Maybe after a nice, refreshing shower...?

But when she came out of the bathroom, running her fingers through her hair to dry it off, there was that angel. Still there. Still sprawled casually on something that was like an invisible flying couch. Still wearing a lazy smile. And Lapis felt a sudden urge to punch that knowing smile _right_ off this angel's face, holy or not, because really, how could a total stranger just pop into her life and _stay_ there as if she had a right to do it? Lapis was a private person. She didn't want anyone in her home, even if it _was,_ supposedly, an angel.

"Look," Lapis began, trying to keep her voice friendly and failing miserably. "I don't know what's going on, but even if you are a real, honest-to-goodness, from-the-heavens, God-sent angel – which I doubt, because I'm pretty darn sure they don't exist – you still don't have a right to barge into my life and set up camp in my living room–"

The angel cut her off. "Call me Peridot. Also, I'm here to stay." She smiled half-apologetically, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. "See, it's my job. And I'm not allowed to slack off. So I'm sorry to barge in and invade your privacy–" she didn't _look_ sorry, not at all "–but this is just how it's gonna have to be." Her voice was falsely sweet, but Lapis wasn't fooled.

"So you're just going to sit there and watch me go about my life." Lapis's voice was dripping with sarcasm. She hated to lose control of her temper, but it was getting tricky. "As if it's a totally normal thing to do, like, you know, there's this angel who _might_ just be a figment of my overactive imagination and she's watching me _every flipping moment of the day–"_

"You're getting too worked up about this," Peridot observed coolly. Lapis ground her teeth together, trying to stay in control of her temper and refrain from yelling at this _infuriating_ angel. "I'm here to _help,_ remember? Also, I'm not imaginary. I can prove it to you if you want."

"And _how_ exactly are you planning to do _that?_ " Despite herself, Lapis was curious. Peridot just shrugged, the hint of a smile on her face. Lapis rubbed her eyes, fighting exhaustion. At last she groaned. "Fine. Show me some other time. I have work tomorrow and if I'm late again, I might just get fired. Garnet's a strict business owner."

"Nice thinking," the angel said in a complimentary tone, although her body language was simply shouting 'bored out of my mind right now'. Lapis bit her lip and redoubled her efforts to calm down because seriously, was Peridot really going to _patronize_ her now?

"You can cut that fake kindlyness act." Lapis quipped as she picked her way over to her bed, ignoring the angel. She really did need to get some sleep. Maybe once her mind was clear, the annoying Peridot hallucination-or-whatever-it-was would go away. If not, she'd have to deal with it later. At least it, or she, or whatever the right pronoun was, had stopped talking. That was a sort of mercy.

After a few moments of lying down with her eyes closed, Lapis sat up again and glared at the angel. The floating white-winged woman was watching her with a look of quiet amusement on her face. "Hey. What the heck. No staring at me while I sleep. That's just creepy."

"Sorry," the angel apologized insincerely. Lapis groaned and buried her head in her pillow again. Of course she _would_ get stuck with one of the annoying ones. _Just my luck._ She glanced up, making sure Peridot wasn't still staring at her. She wasn't. Instead, she had floated off her invisi-couch thing over to the bookshelf, and was paging through a book.

"Don't you have, like, important angel stuff to do?" Lapis slipped out of bed and pulled the book out of Peridot's hand. "Or maybe you could sleep yourself? Just leave me and my belongings _alone?_ "

For a moment, Peridot's kindly facial expression slipped and let an irritable glare through. Then she put the mask of niceness back on (obviously ignoring Lapis's previous words) and floated away innocently. "Okey dokey."

Ten minutes later, Lapis, who was just falling asleep, was re-awakened by a loud thumping sound. Her eyes popped open, vision blurry, to see a green-and-white figure floating horizontally, holding a broom and– was Peridot _sweeping_ the _ceiling?_ Okay, that did it. Lapis practically jumped out of bed, ignoring her tiredness. "Peridot," she hissed through her teeth. "What in the name of the ocean are you _doing?_ "

Instead of answering the question, Peridot turned her face to look at Lapis and raised one eyebrow. "You swear by the _ocean_? Really?"

Lapis gritted her teeth. "Get down here and talk to me like a normal person, would you? _Yes_ I swear by the ocean. Really, _you're_ one to talk. Now we need to have a discussion about this whole 'angel' business. I've been pretty tolerant seeing as you literally just came into my house, a total stranger, but there's a limit. Put the broom back." Slowly, Peridot drifted down to the ground and tossed the broom into place. She didn't quite stand on the ground the ground, actually flinching when her bare toe brushed an empty coke can that was thrown on the floor, as if it was painful to touch. Instead, she hovered right above it. With a very faint tinge of amusement, Lapis realized that if the angel hadn't been floating, she would have been shorter than Lapis herself. The amusement took the edge off her annoyance, but a lot of it still remained.

"What do you wanna talk about?" Peridot's voice was the epitome of innocence, but Lapis wasn't fooled. This _Peridot_ was actually enjoying being annoying.

"Guess." Lapis crossed her arms challengingly.

Peridot tapped her chin as if thinking. _She knows,_ Lapis told herself with satisfaction. There was no doubt about it; it was all there in the faint sparkle in the angel's eyes. Up close, Lapis could actually get a good look at Peridot. She ran her eyes over her from head to toe. Peridot was slightly chubby but otherwise well-formed, with light, freckled skin and a vaguely triangular mess of blonde hair. Her eyes were big and greenish-gray, glinting with almost-hidden amusement. Strangely enough, her outfit wasn't what Lapis would have called an eighteenth-century outfit (that was when the angel had said she died, right?). Presumably angels could change their outfit at will. At the moment, Peridot wore large, circular blue glasses and a long white robe trimmed with green. And of course, there were her wings: enormous, feathery, almost blindingly white, and now flapping gently to keep Peridot in the air.

Lapis was drawn from her observations by the sound of Peridot's voice. "I don't want to guess," the angel said at last. "You tell me."

Lapis sighed. "Okay, so first of all, this– ah– 'kindlyness' act of yours is annoying and very easy to see through. Can you _please,_ at the very _least,_ act like yourself?"

For a moment, Peridot looked taken aback. Then she blinked as if dismissing it. "You probably wouldn't like if I did that," she said, and there was a ring of honesty to her words.

"Do it anyway," Lapis insisted. Peridot shrugged and dropped to hit the ground. Her wings disappeared abruptly. Lapis, taken aback by this sudden transformation, sat back on her bed with a squeaking of bedsprings and watched as Peridot's outfit flashed into a green sweater with the words 'because I said so' and long, loose black pants. _Well okay, I guess green IS her favorite color. Not that it matters._ Only Peridot's glasses remained as they had been before.

"'Kaykay," Peridot said. "You done talking yet?"

"No." Lapis overcame her surprise and frowned again. "I have lots of questions, but I'll ask them later. For now: What are you going to do tonight, while I sleep?"

Peridot looked around with a look of disgust. "Clean up your house."

"Wha–" Completely overcome with indignation, Lapis couldn't even get the words out. This angel was _really_ just planning to take over her life, apparently. "No!"

"Why not? It's a mess. I can do it quietly if you want to sleep."

Lapis took a deep breath and tried not to shout. "Because! It's _my_ house!"

"So? That's no reason to keep it messy."

Lapis threw herself back on her bed. "Seriously? If you don't like the mess, get out of here."

"I can't, you clod," Peridot said irritably. "If I leave you here alone then I might be looked upon with suspicion that I'm not doing my _job_. I can go invisible if that'll help you sleep easier."

"Don't bother." Lapis gave up; she was too tired for any more arguments. "Stare at me all you want. I don't even care anymore." She lay down, turning her face to the wall, and pulled her thin blanket up to her chin. Forcing herself to breathe slowly and steadily, she tried to fall asleep. Behind her she heard– nothing. Silence. _Suspicious_ silence. Her eyes could barely stay open, but she wasn't about to let her house be demolished. So she turned around and searched for Peridot. The angel had cleared the floor in a small area just big enough for her to sit down cross-legged. She didn't _seem_ to be doing anything harmful, so Lapis let it slide and settled back down. Soon she had drifted off into an unsteady sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**[A/N: I got caught up in the writing. Make sure you read the previous chapter before this one; this makes two chapters in one day.]**

 _Act like myself, huh?_ Peridot smirked inwardly at Lapis's request. The girl didn't know what she was in for. All the same, she had regretfully decided to refrain from tormenting Lapis _too_ much. After all, she was an angel – she wasn't supposed to drive Lapis to suicide or anything. Outwardly, she knew, she looked rather peaceful right now. This was the traditional "meditating angel" pose that she was _supposed_ to take when her subject was sleeping. Okay, so she HAD decided to tease Lapis a bit. So what? Nothing wrong with that. Despite her calm exterior, Peridot's mind was racing, trying to sort through her tumbled thoughts.

 _Something's wrong with me,_ Peridot thought worriedly. _For some reason my act didn't work on this girl. There's something about her... This hasn't ever happened to me before. I shouldn't be doing this. My job's easy, and I've done it so many times before, so what is it about Lapis which makes me act like... like I did when I was still alive? I'm supposed to act like an angel, not like a human!_ For the millionth time, Peridot wondered why she had been chosen to be angel. Goodness knew she hadn't been super-specially good or anything. It was strange, but who was she to argue with the others of her rank? She did her job and moved on. At least, she usually did.

Hearing Lapis's breathing slow down and settle into a rhythm, Peridot opened her eyes and hovered a few inches above the dirty floor. Disgusting garbage, she thought as she lifted herself above it. Oh well, if Lapis wouldn't let her clean it up, maybe Peridot could convince Lapis to do it herself – although to be sure it would be a whole lot more easy with magic. And then, against her better judgement, Peridot floated over to Lapis's bed and stayed there next to it, observing the sleeping girl thoughtfully. _Is it because–_ she didn't really want to finish the thought, but knew she should be honest with herself– _because I'm attracted to her?_

 _Let's see._ Peridot reached out unthinkingly and flicked a lock of vivid blue hair off Lapis's face, then pulled back and stared at the rebellious finger. _I think it's likely. After all, it's not every day I'm assigned to a human who's my age – well, in some ways–_ she snickered quietly at that. – _and who has such nice looks. Not to mention how I keep being tempted to touch her, like_ now– she rubbed her finger against her sweatshirt. That simple action brought her to her senses. _But this is ridiculous. I may LOOK like I'm twenty, but I'm actually, what, three hundred twenty years old? And even if I wasn't, I'm an_ angel _. It's not happening._ She sighed, lying down in the air next to Lapis's bed and raising herself up to the girl's level. She closed her eyes, syncing her own breathing with Lapis's. As an angel, she didn't need to breathe. It was a habit left over from her human years that she had never let go of. She didn't need sleep either; _couldn't_ sleep actually as far as she knew. But she could pretend.

Peridot opened her eyes with a jolt when someone shoved her hard enough to send her tumbling to the ground. So apparently she had managed to fall asleep after all. "What was _that_ for?" she grumbled irritably, wrinkling her nose as she stood up and brushed the dirt off herself. The next moment she looked up and saw two livid blue eyes glaring at her so hard, she could almost feel the burning.

"You were in my _bed_ ," Lapis hissed at her angrily. " _In. My. Flipping. Bed."_

"Oh." Peridot ordered herself not to blush, but felt her cheeks grow warm anyway. Despite the embarrassment, she shrugged as if it was no matter. "So?"

Lapis's breathing was ragged. _Oops,_ reflected Peridot, as Lapis practically glowed with anger. _Maybe I shouldn't've said that. Probably should've apologized. Then again, anger does make her eyes– no, no, forbidden._ She ventured a hesitant smile. That was a mistake.

"Get out," Lapis finally said. "Out. I mean it. Seriously. Whether you're my 'guardian angel'–" she made the words sound like a curse– "or not, you have _no right_ to just BARGE into my life and make yourself at home and sleep in my bed – _with_ me– like seriously, what the heck is up with that?"

"That was a mistake," Peridot admitted. Lapis didn't seem to believe her, though; she rolled her eyes disbelievingly, then sharpened her angry gaze and pointed at the front door. Peridot hesitated for a moment, then decided that she should probably _try_ and get into Lapis's good graces. She obediently picked her way over to the door, her wings still gone, and stepped outside. She couldn't resist the urge to give a cheeky little wave back at Lapis before she closed the door behind her. Hurriedly, she turned herself invisible and collapsed against the wall next to the door.

 _Oh crud. I really messed this up._ Peridot buried her face in her hands and berated herself, sparing no aspect of her behavior. _What is it about Lapis that made me act like that? It's got to be because of her, since I've almost never lost control of my angelicness before... Even if I am attracted to her, it's– it's not just that. I don't know what it is._ Groaning, the angel ran over everything that had happened the day before and that morning, cursing at herself the whole time. _I've been such an idiot... Well I have to make amends somehow. I can't give up on this job. Who cares about_ me _and_ my _feelings, I have to do my job._

Sitting there outside of Lapis's small apartment, Peridot thought and calculated and planned for a long time. She was interrupted by the door rushing open and just barely managed to avoid being hit in the face by Lapis's bag as the young woman came out of the door at a quick trot. Acting out of instincts formed through years of practice, Peridot hopped to her feet and started walking silently after her subject, keeping herself invisible. Her mind kept trying to find a solution to the dilemma she had so stupidly put herself into, but despite her distraction, she was right behind Lapis as the blue-haired girl rushed to work, arriving just as the clock showed five to eight. Peridot stayed outside, flashing her wings back into existence and soaring up to sit on the edge of the coffee shop's roof in order to avoid all the people down below.

 _Now what?_ She asked herself miserably. Restless, she slipped off the rooftop and fluttered down to look in the window. Lapis was behind the counter, taking people's orders and whatever other nonsense humans did when they worked in coffee shops. Peridot watched in silence, seeing person after person walk through the glass doors of the coffee shop and walk up to Lapis, ordering something or other. An idea struck her suddenly, startling her so she almost crashed into a lamp-post. She had to find a good way to talk to Lapis without invading her privacy, which Lapis obviously didn't like – why not approach her right now? It was in the open, so Lapis couldn't shout at her or anything. She just had to be careful about it. She shouldn't make _other_ people suspicious. Smiling triumphantly, Peridot waited until the door was opened by some human, then rushed in so she could observe the people's behavior up close.

As she entered, a gust of warm air struck her, along with the scent of coffee. Peridot flinched, the smell reminding her of her own days alive. Over the centuries her memories of her own life had faded away, replaced by more recent memories, but once in a while she caught a hint of her own living days. It always gave her a sort of shock, a touch of regret and sorrow that she always brushed aside. Her job was the only thing she should focus on, she always told herself, and pushed memories away. She did the same this time as she hovered near the roof of the little coffee shop and chose someone to focus on. They would walk up to the counter, look at the sign behind Lapis – the sign with all the list of foods – and choose something... Peridot soaked in the people's actions, watching until she was confident that, by copying them, she could act as normal as possible.

Then she waited for the door to open again (doors opening themselves would certainly creep people out, she knew, so she had to time her entrances and exits properly) and found a secluded spot not far away. _Here goes,_ she told herself slightly nervously. _Now I just need Lapis to act as she should..._ Big hope that was. So far, she had found Lapis entirely unpredictable. Biting her lip nervously, Peridot hid her wings, changed her outfit to one a lot like most of the passersby (short pants and a overly long t-shirt with the words _Angel on Earth_ on it, figuring she didn't need to be subtle), reluctantly changed her hairstyle to a loose ponytail, and undid her invisibility.

Then she stepped out from the shadows and walked slowly toward the shop.


	4. Chapter 4

Lapis forced herself to smile at every customer, because that was what she was expected to do. She forced herself to speak pleasantly and nod and agree and calmly take orders and speak as if every customer was a friend, because that was what she was expected to do. She wasn't supposed to scowl and grumble and glare and roll her eyes when the little kid took _forever_ to choose between a hot chocolate and a cold chocolate because really, what's the big deal? After all, Lapis needed this job – she had no other way to support herself. She just acted normal and kind and barely paid attention to the hundreds of faces that blurred into one another as they ordered and got their food. That's why it was such a big jolt when she suddenly recognized one of the faces.

"What can I do for–" Lapis stopped when she looked up from the cash register. _What the– Peridot!?_ Other than Peridot, there weren't many people in the coffee shop, and there was nobody waiting behind the angel-in-disguise, so Lapis had no problem with dropping her smile and all pretense of niceness. She hissed the words quietly but fiercely: "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I want a coffee," Peridot smiled innocently, keeping her voice quiet. "Also, I wanted to apologize."

Lapis wasn't buying it. _Any_ of it. Angels didn't need to eat, she was almost positive. What was the angel _actually_ up to? And what was up with that _apologizing_ stuff? Peridot didn't seem the apologetic type. "No, what are you _really_ doing here?"

Peridot's smile shrank, and she rolled her eyes. "My job. Look, I really am sorry. I didn't act right yesterday."

"Or this morning." Lapis had gotten quite a shock when she woke up to find Peridot practically snuggling up to her. She wasn't going to let her forget it. Peridot winced.

"Or this morning," she agreed, her expression unreadable. "But Lapis, I have to do my job, and help you with– uh, whatever you need help with."

"I don't _need_ help," Lapis protested, still keeping her voice low. She was dealing with her problems as best as she could, although it was true that they weren't really gone. All the same, she didn't need _help._ She could do it herself. "Also, I need to work. Can you please just– go?"

"Can't," Peridot informed her, smiling slightly again. "I needa be near you all the time or else they'll think I'm not doing my job right."

 _Who are 'they'? And why do they care so much?_ Lapis felt the stirrings of her temper, but pushed it down. "Fine. Order a drink and sit down at one of the tables or something."

"Okay," Peridot was full-out grinning now. Lapis reflected that she would probably never understand this angel. She was just so... strange. "Hot chocolate will work. There wasn't much of _that_ back when I was alive."

Lapis sighed, turned, and called into the kitchen, "one small hot choco, Amethyst, 'n make it quick!" Then she turned to Peridot and pointed toward a two-person seat next to a window. Peridot looked at it, then back at her. She didn't move. Lapis closed her eyes for a moment and prayed for patience, then glanced around – there were only a few people in the shop; the breakfast hour was over and the lunchtime-dessert-buyers hadn't come yet – and got out from behind the counter. "Just go sit down," she grumbled quietly.

"But it's a two-person spot," Peridot pointed out mischievously. "I can't sit there alone."

Lapis blinked at Peridot, then understood. "Yes you can– besides, I work here!" Really, this angel was infuriating. Still, there was _something_ in her eyes when they sparkled like that. Something Lapis couldn't quite put a finger on.

"Yeah, but look, there's almost nobody here." That much was true. Lapis considered it. She hadn't quite forgiven Peridot for last night, but reflected that maybe the angel really _was_ trying to make amends. A cold hand was placed on her shoulder and she jerked away instinctively, noticing that Peridot pulled her hand back quickly too.

"Go sit down," Lapis ordered, making up her mind. Slipping back behind the counter, she picked up the hot chocolate that Amethyst had prepared and walked toward the table she had showed Peridot. The angel stood next to the counter yet, her eyes following Lapis, her stance awkward. Lapis frowned and jerked her head in a 'come on' motion. Peridot jolted, then obeyed.

Once the two were seated, Peridot wrapped her hand around the cup of hot cocoa. Her fingers were long and thin, her hands tiny, noticed Lapis. She wasn't in much a mood for starting a conversation, so just waited to see if Peridot was going to say anything. She wasn't disappointed. "Do you still think I'm a hallucination?"

"No. Hallucinations usually don't last long, and you can't feel them when they touch you." Lapis kept her eyes on Peridot's hot cocoa, almost afraid to meet those piercing green eyes.

"Good. Do you believe that I'm a real..." Peridot gestured towards her shirt, which Lapis now noticed for the first time. She felt a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"Maybe." That girl sure had a nerve, with a shirt like that! Amused despite of herself, Lapis still wouldn't meet Peridot's eyes. "How'd you find out where I work?"

"Followed you." Peridot obviously wasn't afraid of being called a stalker, although, Lapis reflected, that was pretty much what she was. "Nobody saw me, don't worry. I can choose who I appear to."

"Can everyone else see you now?" Lapis didn't want to be thought crazy if people saw her talking to what they would think was empty air.

"Yes. What can I do to convince you that I'm really an angel, then?" Peridot abruptly changed the subject.

Lapis considered this, but didn't reply. Instead, she asked, "why aren't you drinking that hot cocoa?"

Peridot's eyes flickered down to the mug that her fingers were wrapped around. "I haven't consumed food or drink for centuries," she said quietly. Lapis wondered if she was imagining the note of regret in her voice.

"Why not?" Peridot just shrugged. "So try it," Lapis pressed her. "It's really good – Ame makes the best hot cocoa I've ever tasted."

"No thanks."

With that, the conversation died. Lapis waited for three minutes, but when Peridot didn't talk, she sighed and finally said what she knew the angel was waiting for. "I don't know, okay? It's really hard to just believe that you're an angel, especially since you're just like... a normal person, you know? You're not super good, you don't have a halo, you don't have a voice like tolling bells or whatever."

"What if I took you for a ride?"

"What?"

"I mean," Peridot said, meeting Lapis's eyes when the blue-eyed girl finally looked up, "a flight around the city."

"B-but I'm visible," protested Lapis, although flying sounded really cool. She reminded herself that she had to be logical, although Peridot's deep gaze was confusing her for some reason. "People would see me and..."

"Fine," Peridot shrugged. "Although I would have thought you'd jump at the chance – it's not every day an angel offers to take you for a flight..."

 _She has a point, but it's not a very good idea; what if she drops me?_ Lapis's mind raced. _What if I fall? What if something happens? What if people see me?_ Peridot fell silent, breaking eye contact and looking into her brown-liquid-filled mug _._ Watching her, Lapis decided that she might as well suspend her disbelief for now. Something in the blonde-haired angel, despite how she acted so unfazed, seemed more vulnerable – lost – sad. _Maybe she actually is an angel... and maybe_ she _'s the one who needs help,_ Lapis thought wonderingly. Turning her gaze to the door, she spotted one of the regular customers crossing the street towards the shop.

"Why don't you try the hot chocolate? I have to go."

Peridot didn't reply, only nodding slowly. As Lapis got to her feet, the angel lifted the mug and held it in both hands carefully. Lapis felt a cold twinge where Peridot had touched her shoulder. This angel business sure was strange... Hopefully it'd end well.


	5. Chapter 5

Peridot's palms were burning, burning, burning. _Stupid,_ she scolded herself. _Stupid._ Despite the burning, she kept her hands wrapped around the scalding mug, letting the painful hotness punish her for everything she had done wrong during the past day. She kept her eyes turned towards the cup, staring into the hot chocolate and wondering if she dared actually taste it. _Stupid to offer Lapis a flight; she wisely refused. Stupid to touch her shoulder; angels aren't supposed to TOUCH. Stupid to obey Lapis; stupid to be myself around her. She's not the clod. I am._ Her hands were scorching hot, but the rest of her felt cold. _I'm not a human anymore. I have to remember that. I have to do my job._

"You still haven't tasted it?" While Peridot sunk into misery, she had lost track of Lapis. Now her gaze flickered up as the young woman seated herself across from the angel again. Peridot tried to act cheerful, forcing a smile.

"Nope. I'm not thirsty." It was true, but she still felt as if she was lying. Lapis studied her face carefully, then shook her head.

"I've already told you not to _pretend_ like that. I mean, I know you're an angel, but you're obviously not perfect, so acting as if you are is kinda pointless." Lapis glanced towards the door, then back at Peridot again.

 _How does she do it?_ Peridot wondered idly. _She just sees right through me._ Instead of talking, Peridot just shrugged. She had no idea what to say anyway. She was rescued by the door opening – or so she thought. Instead of going to the counter, Lapis turned her head and called, "Pearl! Can you take over the counter for me? I'm going for my lunch break." From the back room came a call in the affirmative, so Lapis leaned back in her chair for a moment. Then she seemed to make a decision. "Peridot." The angel blinked and looked up at her companion.

"What?" Once again Peridot attempted a more lighthearted tone.

"You may be practically a total stranger – well, not so much anymore, anyway, you know what I mean – but that's no reason for me to be rude. And if you _have_ to do your job, well, I have to do mine, too, so I can understand that... But privacy is important to me, so we'd have to set a few rules. Now come on, let's go to lunch."

Peridot blinked, surprised by the invitation. Usually her subjects ignored her unless she spoke to them first. They didn't ever seem to think of her as a person. That probably had to do with her flawless angel act – but still, there was certainly something strange about Lapis. "Okay."

Putting the cup of hot chocolate down, she inspected her fingers. Although she knew she wasn't actually injured, she still felt as if she had gotten burnt. There was nothing on her digits though, and already Lapis was getting up. "Wait, you're not gonna drink that, are you?" Lapis suddenly realized. "Well, give it here." _I shouldn't have ordered this in the first place,_ Peridot sighed to herself. _Now she might be insulted by the fact that I didn't drink it... not that I care,_ she told herself hurriedly, trying to convince herself – in vain – that Lapis was just another person in her endless line of people whose lives she had to help fix. Shrugging, Peridot pushed her drink over to the other side of the table, turning her gaze over to the counter. Behind it, a tall, pale woman was tapping her fingers on the counter; presumably, that was Pearl.

" _Now_ let's go," Lapis said at last, setting the nearly empty cup down. "Just let me bring this to the kitchen." Peridot nodded, shaking away her sadness. It was time to find out what her duties would be. Hanging around with Lapis was nice enough, but that wasn't her job. Her job was to help solve Lapis's problems. Somehow. Although Peridot suspected that it wouldn't be that easy, not with a stubborn woman who insisted she could help herself. The Authorities were never wrong, though; if they assigned Peridot to someone, that someone certainly _did_ need help. So Peridot quietly waited for Lapis, then followed her across the street to a small restaurant.

"What is this place? Diamond Cuisine?"

"My... friend Jasper works here. I usually eat with her. You can join us."

Peridot couldn't help it; she felt herself shrink back. _Another person? I'm not good at talking to people..._ Lapis seemed to see that she wasn't comfortable with it and eyed her carefully, but Peridot refused to complain. _"The subject has to regard you as someone who will accept anything, so they will not be afraid to tell you about themselves,"_ she reminded herself of her lessons. _"You may not allow them to see you afraid, disgusted, worried, apprehensive, scared, unhappy, shocked, or insecure. You must show a smiling face, no matter what happens."_

"If you don't want to, that's okay too," Lapis offered. Peridot's heart clenched, but she forced herself to smile.

"It's– fine."

"No, it's not," grumbled Lapis. "You're acting all "angelic" again. I seriously don't care if you're _supposed to._ You're an actual person with moods too, I can tell, and I've known enough people to understand that pretending's not good for you. Look at– at Garnet. She always wears these dark sunglasses to hide her eyes, partly because they're different colors and she's been teased for it, and partly so that people can't read her emotions. You know why?"

Unsure what Lapis was getting at, Peridot shook her head. She glanced around and wondered if the two of them looked funny, standing at the doorway of the Diamond Cuisine place. There certainly were a lot of people looking at them. She resisted the urge to go invisible, looking at Lapis and trying to ignore the mortals all around.

"It's because–" Lapis started to explain, but stopped suddenly. "Wait. Hang out here for a moment; I'll be right back." Peridot nodded and waited. It was a whole lot harder to keep from disappearing when she was alone with all the people, although on second thought she realized that they weren't actually all looking at her. It just felt like it for some reason. She shivered and rubbed her arms, uncomfortable. Only the thought of what people would say if she disappeared suddenly kept her from fading out of sight and flying away; that, and Lapis's saying she'd be right back. It felt like ages before Lapis came back, though it was probably only five minutes.

"Finally," Peridot grumbled under her breath, arranging her face into a neutral expression. Best not to frown at Lapis if she needed to earn her trust, she figured. Lapis was holding a paper bag in one hand; with her other hand she waved for Peridot to follow her. Shrugging, Peridot walked after her. It was only a five minute walk, but with every step, Peridot felt eyes prickling at the back of her neck. When she turned, there was nobody there. After a while Lapis asked her why she kept looking backwards, and she shook her head and refused to answer anything more than "no reason, don't worry about it." Lapis narrowed her eyes at her but didn't say anything more. At last Lapis stopped.

"Welcome to Beach City Park," Lapis said, tilting her head back so the sunshine turned her skin golden. "The people who named it weren't creative, but it's pretty, at least. I figured we'd find a quiet corner to talk because obviously, if you're an angel, and you're not going to leave, we have a heckuva lot to talk about. C'mon."

"Are you sure–"

"Positive." Despite her far fewer years, Lapis had a look of steel in her eyes which even Peridot couldn't resist. Slowly, the angel followed Lapis to a bench under a shadowy tree. "Now, where was I... Oh yes, Garnet. Sit down, will you? That's better. Now, Garnet – and I'm assuming, you too – hides her emotions because she feels like they make her look weaker. Yes?" Lapis raised one eyebrow at Peridot and despite her vast array of experience, the angel had no idea what to say. Her training and Lapis's words fought each other in her mind. _"Keep your true self hidden at all costs;" "be yourself!" "Don't show weakness, ever;" "you're an actual person too!"_ Unable to focus on anything, Peridot closed her eyes and didn't speak. _Stop it,_ she ordered herself. _Stop it!_

"...Peridot?"

The angel almost fell off the bench. She had forgotten Lapis's presence as she got lost in the turmoil that was her thoughts. As she tipped precariously on the edge of the seat, Lapis took hold of her arm and pulled her back. Peridot looked down at Lapis's hand, wrapped around her pale arm. She shivered slightly, because although the feeling was not unpleasant, it was strange. _Such a warm hand._ Peridot's head spun; she couldn't think straight. _Stupid... clod..._

"Peridot, are you okay?"

The next moment, the angel felt herself slipping into unconsciousness. She fought to speak before her awareness faded. "I'm... okay..."

And then she was out.


	6. Chapter 6

_Oh no, oh no, oh no, is she dead?_ Lapis pulled her hand away from Peridot, letting the unconscious angel slip down onto the bench. After a moment she took a shaky breath and tried to calm down. _She can't be dead; she's an angel. She must have just... fainted or something. Right. That doesn't make sense but it'll have to work. Uh, I should... I should really get her somewhere safe. Can't leave her here._ Breathing deeply to keep from hyperventilating, Lapis set aside the bag containing her sandwich lunch and pulled her little phone out of her pocket. It wasn't a smartphone; she couldn't afford one. It was just one of her dad's old phones, one of the really little ones that were good for nothing but calling people, but then again, that's what phones were originally meant to be for. She dialed Amethyst's number and waited for a minute, tapping her foot against the ground impatiently.

 _C'mon, c'mon, pick up the phone..._ There was a beep and Amethyst's I'm-not-here message started playing. Cutting it off, Lapis quickly called Pearl. _Please be there, please... oh, here we go._ "Hey. Pearl? It's Lapis– yeah. I'm sorry. I won't be able to get back to work today. Yes, I _do_ have a good reason. What– no! Look, if you _have_ to you can take it off my pay. I'll be back tomorrow, okay? No– no. Something came up. Okay. Yeah, I promise. No, I'm not sick. I'm fine, don't worry– It's a friend. Can't talk now, bye!" Hanging up and shoving her phone back into her pocket, Lapis wondered what to do next. What had Peridot mumbled before she fainted? It sounded like, 'I'm okay'. But she wasn't – was she?

 _Well I can't call any ambulance, that's ridiculous... I guess I'll have to carry her home or something? Or wait until she comes around... wait, she doesn't have a home, darn, I had forgotten that – crud._ Lapis groaned and accepted the fact that she would just have to take Peridot to her own home. But how?

Twenty minutes later, Lapis pushed her front door shut and gently placed the invisible angel on the bed. How Peridot had gone invisible she had no idea, but within five minutes of Peridot's lapse into unconsciousness, the angel had started fading. Horrified and worried despite the many times she told herself that the angel was mostly just an annoying person come to bug her about 'problems', she had reached out to grab the angel's hand, and been relieved to find that despite her fading appearance, she was still as solidly there as ever. Her skin was cool in temperature, as Lapis had already noticed, and touching the angel gave Lapis a strange prickling sensation – but she ignored it as she carefully brought the angel home. How she managed, she never knew. And goodness knows people had stared at the apparently lone person staggering as if she carried a heavy load. But Lapis ignored the nasty looks and whispers. This was more important.

"...Peridot, are you awake yet?" Lapis was almost afraid to let go of the angel for fear that she would fade away even farther, disappear into the emptiness that was out there. "Peridot?" She bit her lip. What if the angel didn't come back? Was this her own fault, because she didn't believe in angels? _That story, Peter Pan. The fairy disappeared when she wasn't believed in – is that what's happening to Peridot? No, it can't be._ Still, Lapis was almost scared. After all, who knew – maybe _she_ would be punished for losing her angel? Or maybe– well, regardless of the reason, Lapis held onto Peridot's hand carefully.

Half an hour she sat there, until her muscles grew stiff. Half an hour of tense waiting and hoping and repeating Peridot's name in a desperate half-whisper. And finally, the angel started to reappear. It didn't happen all at once; instead, it was slow, like the fade in of a video in slow motion. At last she was all there, and then she finally woke up.

"Wha– Lllapis...?" the angel's eyes opened slowly, light-colored lashes fluttering against her cheeks at first, then drifting up to reveal green pools of light. "...that you Lapis?"

"Peridot! You're okay!" The tan blue-haired girl jolted to attention at the sound of her companion's voice. She had zoned out as she waited, and only now looked down at the girl lying next to her.

"...'M okay," agreed Peridot. "Sorry 'bout... wait, wh... where am I?" Obviously she was groggy, but Lapis was too glad that she was awake to care.

"You're in my house," she explained unabashedly. "I brought you here once you... did you faint?"

"Uhm... something like that," Peridot said, her eyes darting about nervously. "Nothing for you to, um, for you to worry about...What's with... hand?"

"Huh?" Lapis winced, realizing that she was still holding onto Peridot's small hand, which was dwarfed within her own big palm. "Oh. Sorry." She quickly let go, feeling her cheeks grow slightly warm. "So you're really okay?"

"Yeah," Peridot said slowly. "But as you said... we have a lot to talk about."

"Yes," agreed Lapis, a relieved smile spreading across her face. "Yes, we do."

The angel struggled to sit up, evidently still weak. Instinctively Lapis helped her. "Uh... thanks," mumbled Peridot so quietly that Lapis barely heard her. The angel rubbed her shoulder in the spot where Lapis had touched her, then leaned back against the wall on one side of Lapis's bed. Evidently Peridot had no problem with making herself at home in other people's houses. The angel made a face, concentrating, then flashed her outfit out of the T-shirt and into her previously-seen 'because I said so' green sweater.

"That's a useful skill to have," Lapis observed, trying to get Peridot to talk more comfortably. "What else can you do?"

"You've seen most of what I can do," Peridot replied, refusing to meet the blue eyes that were fixed on her face. "Other than that, not much."

 _Peridot seems to tell a lot of half-truths,_ reflected Lapis. _I can get past that, though. For now I should put her at ease, I guess. How to do that, though? I wonder if maybe... hmm... yeah, that might work. If I do it right._


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting next to Lapis on her bed, Peridot tried to think despite the girl's constant chatter. It wasn't working. "...so, _why_ did you faint? I mean, if you can answer that." The angel sighed and resolved to think later. For now, she told Lapis all she knew.

"I think it's because – well, just a hunch, but there are demons as well as angels, right? And I think one of them was following us, invisibly. 'Cause before I... went unconscious... I saw someone grinning at me. It's not a demon assigned to you, because I know there isn't one – I could sense it – but there are some roaming free through the city to plague humans and apparently, me. At least that's what I think. But if I talk to my superiors, they should be able to banish the demon – at the very least, my presence should keep _you_ from being haunted."

"But what about _you?_ " Lapis asked her, and she actually sounded genuinely worried. Peridot couldn't help being touched slightly, but she ignored the feeling and shrugged. Lapis went on, and what she said sounded a lot like the truth. "Look, Peridot, you may be really annoying, but you're still kinda nice I think. And like, I don't want you to get hurt, you know? So if you can do something about that – demon _–_ just make sure you don't hurt yourself. Okay?"

"O...okay," Peridot replied. Inside her, she could practically hear her angel-training roaring at her, but somehow Lapis's words made what she was 'supposed' to do not seem important. She tried to focus on something else. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I took a day off," Lapis replied. "Which is okay because I had like, twenty vacation days anyway. I never use them. Besides, I thought you were like, dead or something. And that was more important than my job."

"I... Lapis, I'm not that important. I'm just one of like, ten thousand angels. You're the important one here." _Honesty is the best policy... right?_

Lapis frowned. "No way," she answered. Suddenly her gaze sharpened. "Is that what they taught you in angel training?"

"No...?"

"Seriously? They taught you that you're not worth anything? Are you absolutely sure you're from Heaven? Because that doesn't sound right."

"I said no, they didn't teach me that," Peridot frowned. "Why don't you believe me? I thought of it myself, thanks anyway."

"Oh wow," Lapis groaned, flopping back against the wall on one side of her bed. "So I have an angel who has her own problems?"

"That's the point," Peridot pointed out – logically, she thought. "You're not supposed to worry about _my_ problems – not that I have any. I'm here to help _you_ , so can we start with that?"

"Well one of my problems now is that I've been assigned a stubborn angel who's, like, in denial," Lapis retorted. "Besides. Like I've told you. I don't need help; I've been helping myself!"

"Oh yeah? Then what are these?" Peridot grabbed Lapis's hands and turned them over, exposing wrists with a few slashing scars.

"Th–they're old," Lapis told her, turning pale and pulling her hands back.

"They aren't very old," Peridot replied, frowning. "No lying to me, Lapis, because I can usually tell. But don't worry, I can help you with that." She couldn't help but feel sorry for this girl, who was fighting so hard despite her hardships. Maybe it was worth a little extra effort this time, if she could save Lapis.

Lapis sighed. "I'm not gonna be able to get you to not 'help' me, am I?"

"Nope," Peridot confirmed. "It's my job. Besides, you're nice and pretty cute. Why would I not want to help you?"

"Woah," Lapis warned, although she was smiling slightly, "isn't it against the rules for you to flirt with me?"

Peridot grinned. "Actually? There are no actual rules against it."

"Well," Lapis smirked, "you may be a nice-looking angel, but I'm not actually looking for a partner, so good luck."

"Oh, I'm not worried. Nobody can resist my charm," Peridot replied, looking up at Lapis from under her eyelashes.

"Oh please stop," Lapis laughed. "You little devil."

"Excuse me, I am the _opposite_ of a devil!" This was fun, reflected Peridot. Maybe if she could actually be friends with her subject for once, she could help more. And there was no harm in having a little flirting fun. It was just a game, she told herself – although part of her disagreed. "But okay, I'll stop." Leaning in close to Lapis, she whispered in her ear, "for now."

Lapis sighed mock-sadly. "What a shame," she said, "I actually got an angel who's not angelic but rather fun to be around."

Peridot pulled back and stuck out her tongue.

Lapis smiled. "Your tongue is _blue?_ "

"Yeah, and trust me," Peridot bared her fangs, "you don't want me to bite you."

"...I believe you," Lapis nodded. "So please don't." Then, smirking again, she shook her finger and teased, "you heard me right? No hickies!"

"I wouldn't!" Peridot pretended to be offended. "Or maybe..." she licked her lips, enjoying this game, and lowered her voice as she leaned towards Lapis again, "I would?"

"Okay, okay," Lapis finally said through her chuckles. "That's– that's enough. We should get back on topic now."

"Yeah," Peridot agreed, although she wished this game of teasing could continue – it was ages since she had had _fun_. "Back on topic."


	8. Chapter 8

Despite the fact that she was completely confused and had no idea what was going to happen, Lapis couldn't help but be kinda happy. Yes, she had a person who was practically a total stranger in her house, sitting on her bed, and talking to her in a way that was weirdly familiar – and yes, the person was a weird supernatural creature who didn't live up to the stereotypes at all and was actually rather rude – but hey, this was an _adventure_! It was something new and interesting, and Lapis liked that and wasn't just going to give up on this chance to learn more; her curiousity had always been pretty powerful. So she had decided to treat Peridot as a she would a human, despite the angel's eccentricities – perhaps even better than she would treat any random human, since she had never been _too_ nice to strangers.

Right now, though, she had plenty she wanted to know, and she wasn't planning to shrink away from asking. Peridot could flirt with her all she wanted – _and_ _honestly, that angel's kinda cute, so the flirting doesn't bother..._ _What? No, Lapis, you can't think your guardian angel is cute. Even if she_ _is. It's not appropriate in the least_. Lapis gathered herself and began asking. "So Peridot. What have you heard about me? I'd like to know what sort of information the angel database has about me, or whatever info you have."

"Let's see," Peridot replied, adopting a distant expression and listing the facts on her fingers. "You were born in 1995. Your father died when you were three. You lived in the city for years, going to a public school where you were often bullied. Your mother was distant and didn't care for you very much, so you pretty much raised yourself. Ended up becoming clinically depressed when you were seventeen, cut yourself, didn't eat much– which are habits I now have to help you break. You came out as a homosexual to your mother, eventually, although you've rarely actually dated people. After highschool you moved here, where you've lived alone for a long time, trying to save up for college. Aaaaand you got PTSD as a teen, although I don't know why. Also: you're very stubborn, independent, proud, need your personal space, insist on people being themselves, and overall," Peridot looked up and cracked a grin, "act pretty darn adorable."

During this recitation, Lapis's eyes had widened. How did Peridot know so much? Had there been angels stalking her? Was she being judged all the time? She didn't like being reminded of her problems, but at last had decided that it was worthless to insist that she _didn't_ need help. Therapeutic treatment or something of the kind would help her, she knew. It was just slightly embarrassing to admit. The last part of Peridot's speech, though, broke into her thoughts and made her blush and glare at Peridot.

"What? It's true," the angel shrugged.

"Whatever," Lapis replied, deciding not to get into that again. "So you know a lot, I guess. Is... there anything you need to know?" She hoped not. Talking about her past was painful.

"Yeah, it would be useful to hear more, if you're up to telling me," Peridot replied, her smile fading. "I mean, I know they're hard topics, but... the reason you have PTSD?"

"Post traumatic stress disorder... yeah, well, the 'trauma' that caused it is not something I like to talk about it. Mirrors have to do with it. It's – it's complicated. And the PSTD mainly bothers me at night, if I have nightmares, or if I get triggered, usually by a mirror or... or something."

"Okay, I understand your not wanting to talk about it." Lapis had to admit, she was rather surprised by Peridot's soft tone. Calming, quiet, and comforting – very different from the Peridot she had grown to know, but it wasn't a bad change. "What about the cutting? When's the last time you did that?"

"A... a few weeks ago," Lapis admitted, looking down at her forearms, which were criss-crossed with thin scars. She traced one line with her fingernail, wondering why she let herself do this. She _knew_ it was bad, but sometimes...

"That's better that I would've expected. Okay. Does your homosexuality bother you or get you bullied?"

"I... well, it used to. But it doesn't anymore. Mostly because I stick with my acquaintances, many of whom are gay themselves. And it's not like I go around telling people about it." Lapis was still rubbing at her arm, trying to erase the marks even though she knew it was illogical. A cool hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her hand away.

"Don't do that," scolded Peridot. Lapis nodded, still refusing to look at Peridot. She didn't really like telling about her innermost self, but figured that it was for the best, so forced herself to speak.

"So no, my sexual orientation, or as Amethyst would put it, 'gayness', doesn't bother me. Unless I develop a crush on someone. Which can be very inconvenient." Done talking, Lapis pulled her hand away from Peridot's grasp and looked up at the angel's strangely compassionate green eyes.

"Okay," Peridot replied slowly. "Tell me, do you think there's a specific way that I can help you, or would you rather I do it my way?"

"I... I dunno," Lapis pulled her knees up and hugged them to her chest. "Your way works."

"Alright." Peridot got to her feet off the side of the bed, her fluffy white wings sprouting in an instant. She hopped into the air and hovered there, wings flapping lightly and causing a slight wind. "That means–" she wrinkled her nose, concentrating, and Lapis couldn't help but think, _cute!_ "–that I'll just have to meet you and talk to you, like a therapist, but in a more relaxed condition. From there, well, we'll see."

"That sounds good to me," Lapis said, although honestly she was slightly apprehensive. Talking about her problems never did sound too appealing. "But if I'm going to talk to you about those topics, I'd – I'd honestly like to get to know you better. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay. It's only afternoon now. We can talk." Peridot sat down seemingly in midair, dropping down so she was at about Lapis's level and propping her feet up on an invisible footrest. "What would you like to discuss?"

"Well for starters, I need to eat my lunch. Then we can talk." Lapis looked around for the bag containing her sandwich, eventually realizing she had put it on the floor by her bed. "Wait, you wanted to clean my home?"

"Yeah, I did," Peridot replied. "I mean, look at it! It's a mess! And it's hard to clean up your life if your house is a dump."

"I... suppose that makes sense. Okay." Lapis laid her meal out on her bed, ignoring Peridot's facial expression (obviously the angel didn't approve of eating on a bed). "I'll clean up after lunch. You can help."

"Why are you being so accepting all of a sudden?" Peridot asked, tilting her head to one side like a curious bird.

"I guess I've just accepted this angel business," Lapis shrugged. "Like, you can go invisible. And fly. And magically change outfits. And talk, and you feel solid. Sooo you're probably not a hallucination. Or a prankster. Plus, I guess I kinda sorta maybe do need help with my problems, even if I don't like admitting it."

"Oh. Well, it's good that I don't have to convince you any more, I guess." Peridot smiled. "Now I can focus on my job. And on having fun. I don't get assigned to a cutie like you every day."

Hastily swallowing a too-big bite of her sandwich, Lapis coughed and asked, "does 'having fun' mean what I think it means?" She raised one eyebrow and narrowed her eyes suspiciously, not quite sure what to think.

Peridot blushed fiercely. "No! Of course not! I– I don't even know you!" Her words tumbled over each other in her rush to explain. "By having fun, I mean like, being able to be on Earth, which I haven't been able to do for a long time because most of my subjects don't like me being around them so I have to stay hidden!"

"Oh, good," Lapis smirked, taking a smaller bite this time. "Because I'm not taking any nonsense from anyone, be you an angel or not."

"I can tease, though?"

"I don't think I could possibly stop you from doing so."

"Yeah, you probably couldn't." Peridot grinned and lay back on her invisi-sofa thing in a poorly executed draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls pose. "I'm just too good for that."

Almost choking on her sandwich, Lapis snorted with laughter. "Are you _sure_ you're an angel? It doesn't seem like it."

Faking an offended look, Peridot pressed a hand to her heart overdramatically. "You pain me so cruelly! I am only trying to net you with my good looks, and you insult my very soul!"

"Yeah, sure," Lapis smiled good-naturedly. "So tell me, what would happen if you succeeded in winning my heart?"

"Uh," Peridot's eyes darted about. "I don't know."

"And if you fell in love with _me?"_

A shrug.

"Okay then." Lapis finished off her sandwich with a few quick bites and scrutinized the rest of her lunch, trying to decide what to eat. "You have some research to do – either that, or you stop flirting."

"I can't help being charming," Peridot replied haughtily, pretending to flip her hair.

"Do your research, then." Lapis smirked at the angel as she settled upon a carrot. "And be careful, because I might start flirting back, and then _you'll_ be the one unable to resist."

"Hah," Peridot replied, the corners of her mouth curving up slowly. "You wish."

"It'll be fun." Lapis nibbled on the carrot, mimicking a rabbit. "At least, _I_ think so. A game of wits. With you. Cutie." She grinned lopsidedly. It had been ages since she actually had _true_ fun. Here was a chance.

"I'll win, of course," Peridot assured her.

"You've got that backwards," Lapis told her sweetly.

Peridot winked. "We'll see."


	9. Chapter 9

**[A/N: I just wanted to say thanks to all who have left reviews on my story. I really appreciate it; you all make it worthwhile for me to write (well, your messages and my love of writing work together). So thanks, and enjoy this chapter!]**

"Are we done yet?" Lapis was collapsed on her bed, one arm thrown dramatically over her forehead.

"Yes. Yes, _I'm_ done, Lapis Lazyli." Peridot tossed the broom over into the corner of the room and hovered over to Lapis. A part of her was still telling her that being an angel meant being strictly professional, but she was purposely ignoring it because teasing Lapis was a lot more fun than that. The girl's reactions were often hilarious and, she had to admit, pretty adorable.

"That's not funny," retorted Lapis, wrinkling her nose. "But thank goodness we're done. That took _hours."_

"Yes well, it wouldn't have if you cleaned up regularly, you know," Peridot told the other girl, sitting on Lapis's bed and dissolving her wings away. "And _I_ did like, seventy percent of the work while _you_ complained – Never mind that now, though. Isn't the apartment _much_ nicer now that it's clean?"

"I guess," Lapis sighed, sitting up. "But it's already suppertime and I don't have any food because I usually eat at work and I don't have any food at home and I'm _hungry."_

"Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?" Peridot raised her eyebrow challengingly, hiding a smirk.

"Yes, actually," Lapis replied, but the teasing had done the trick; she sounded a lot less like a complaining three-year-old.

"Well then, go buy some." The angel yawned and rubbed the sleeves of her sweatshirt. "I'll come with you."

"What, so you can flirt with me some more?" Lapis hopped off her bed and walked across the room to the door, slipping her flip-flops on. Peridot grinned and followed her.

"Sure." Despite her nonchalant appearance, she was questioning herself. _Is it really such a good idea to flirt with Lapis? It's not like it can turn into a relationship, because of many reasons like A), I'm an angel and she's a human. B), I'm like, three hundred years older than her. C), she probably doesn't like me in a romantic way. D), she's too smart for that. E), how the heck is she supposed to explain my sudden appearance to all her friends? And if I flirt with her, then what if she thinks I'm taking it seriously? Because I'm not, I– I'm_ NOT _. But what if she thinks I really like her? Which I guess I kinda do, a bit, because she is really pretty and her personality is great. That just makes it worse, though._ To settle her doubts, Peridot forced herself to say, "but you do know, Lapis, _definitely_ know, that this is just in fun. Right? Not because I'm trying to _actually_ make you fall in love with me. Because as fun as this game is, frankly, that would be pretty bad, seeing as... well. You know."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Lapis nodded, pulling the door open, her eyes fixed on the doorknob. "Come _on_ , let's go."

 _...She doesn't believe me._ Peridot twisted her mouth wryly as she followed Lapis out the door. Maybe the human thought it would be fun to have an angel fall in love with her. Well, it wasn't going to happen. Peridot would make sure of that. Somehow she would, despite the fact that Lapis gave her a fluttery feeling that she hadn't felt ever since she was alive herself. Somehow she'd keep herself from letting this mild crush develop further. _Somehow._

"Alright, Peridot, are you sure you don't want anything?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," the angel replied, waving her hand dismissively. "Just go buy whatever food you want. I'll be somewhere here... call me if you need me." She had switched back into her _Angel on Earth_ outfit in order to blend with the crowd and was doing her best to act like all the other humans – which wasn't so easy when she was marveling at the sheer number of _people_ there were and trying not to fade from sight by instinct.

"How do I call you? You don't have a phone."

"Just say my name and I'll hear you, okay?" Peridot's eyes darted from side to side, trying to spot the people who were staring at her. There was nobody. "I'll be fine, don't worry about me." Honestly, she was trying to convince herself of that more than she was trying to convince Lapis.

"Okay," the human nodded. As Lapis left, Peridot bit her lip nervously and tried to convince herself that nobody was staring at her. _Maybe Lapis is right and I_ do _have some sort of problems,_ she mused. _Or maybe that demon is playing tricks on me._ Suddenly suspicious, she looked around again. A demon could be hiding anywhere and disguised as anything, really. The only two signs that demons could not disguise were their eye color – a red-brown shade – and their red aura, but among all the humans, Peridot couldn't see any red aura or reddish eyes anywhere, and her head was pounding. She made her way to a quieter corner of the store and stood with her back against the wall, trying to seem inconspicuous.

 _Now think, Peridot, think_ , she prompted herself. _What are you going to do next?_ She could keep doing pretty much what she was doing now – messing around and flirting with Lapis, but also helping her with whatever problems she had – or she could go back to her usual tactic – being unnoticed most of the time, but helping when she was needed – or she could think of something else to do. Right now, the first option sounded like the best to her, but she had to be logical. That method wasn't really sustainable, and it might not work entirely. Wouldn't it be best to stop? _And_ , she added ruefully, _give up the only fun I've had in like,_ _ever?_ She shook her head. _I'd really rather not._

Unfortunately for Peridot, she was very inexperienced in matters of love. Back when she was alive, girls weren't really allowed to mess around, and being a homosexual was just... it wasn't accepted. It had taken her years of being an angel, of watching from afar as the human race struggled for gay rights, to actually realize that she was like that too – and even longer to accept it. She had never actually had a relationship with anyone and she had long given up hope of having one, so this – this was new. But it was kinda good, too. _How far can I take this... game, without it becoming something different?_ Peridot closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. Just then, she felt a tug at her bond to Lapis; she had been mentioned, if not called. Opening her eyes, she followed the link to her mortal.

She came up behind Lapis, keeping her walk at a casual stroll so that no nearby humans would be suspicious. The blue-haired woman was standing at the check-out line; she jumped when Peridot put her hand on her shoulder. "Woah! Make some noise when you come up behind me!"

"Okay. Are you ready to go?"

"Just about," Lapis nodded. Peridot tapped her foot impatiently and wished she could disappear because she was feeling uncomfortable again. _Too many people, too many PEOPLE!_ She was jolted out of her nervousness by Lapis beckoning and saying, "Come on Peridot, let's go."

"Right behind you," Peridot replied absently, staring into space as she followed Lapis's voice. She just wanted to get to Lapis's house already so that this feeling of people _watching_ her would go away. She was beginning to suspect there really was something wrong with her. Maybe she'd research that. Social anxiety or something...


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey... Peridot? Are you alright?" Lapis watched the blonde-haired angel, noticing her companion's darting gaze and constant wariness. Peridot had been acting weirdly ever since they left the house. Was it because of the demon she had said there was? Or was there another reason? Maybe Peridot just wasn't used to life on Earth. That could be it, right? She had said that angels usually didn't appear to people who they weren't assigned to, so maybe Peridot wasn't comfortable among so many people. Maybe Lapis should tell the angel it was okay to go invisible if she wanted to. Yes, it would be weird to be walking with someone invisible – but it wasn't as if anyone would know.

"I– yeah I'm fine," Peridot replied absently, craning her neck to look back behind her. Lapis wasn't fooled.

"Are you not used to people?" Lapis looked around, trying to see what Peridot was searching for. She saw nothing except a few very innocent-looking people walking about. "Or is the demon nearby?"

"I'm _fine,_ I said," Peridot repeated stubbornly, walking normally now, although her eyes still darted from side to side. "Let's just get home – that is, to your home already."

Lapis shook her head and sighed. _Of course,_ she reflected, _angels are probably SUPPOSED to be super aloof and perfect, and Peridot's been an angel for like, three hundred years, so I guess she's not comfortable with showing weakness – which makes sense because even if people ARE allowed to show weakness, they don't, so I guess I can understand her._ She pulled herself out of her thoughts, shifting the heavy shopping bags in her hand so that the plastic wouldn't dig into her fingers as much. They walked in silence, Lapis trudging along slowly while Peridot practically floated beside her, eyes wide and wary. At last they got to Lapis's apartment and climbed the many stairs (the elevator was broken) before Lapis set the bags down to unlock the door.

"Here we are," she announced. "Welcome to my humble abode." Peridot, very obviously relaxing as she walked in the door, smiled mischievously. The door swung shut before Lapis could turn around to close it and the bags were snatched out of the blue-haired girl's hands before she could react. "Peridot, what are you–" she began to ask.

"Nothing, nothing," Peridot replied lightly. "Just helping you real quick." The angel pulled the fridge open and tossed food items into it randomly, ignoring all organization tactics. Lapis rolled her eyes, but she was in no mood for dealing with Peridot's antics so she simply walked across the room and sat down on her bed to watch as Peridot stacked juiceboxes precariously in the door of the fridge and carelessly dropped apples and pears into the vegetable drawers.

"Helping, huh?" Lapis smirked. "And this from the angel who spent hours cleaning up my house and making sure every pencil was in the right place!"

"Food doesn't matter," Peridot retorted airily. "It's just necessary to make sure that you stay alive, but it doesn't really matter if it's organized or not." She shoved the plastic bag into the fridge last and pushed the door of the fridge shut. "'Sides, this way we get to talk more and not waste time setting up." She frowned. "Speaking of talking, we need to talk."

"Yes," Lapis nodded. They _did_ need to talk. About rules and privacy and why Peridot had been looking around so much. Peridot drifted over to Lapis, her feet not quite touching the ground, and seated herself on the bed next to the blue-haired woman. Lapis decided to talk first, and spoke her mind. "For one thing, what was up with you on the way to the store and back? You were super wary the whole time, like someone was watching you. It kinda creeped me out."

"That's," Peridot's eyes shifted sideways and she frowned, "nothing you need to worry about."

"Is it going to happen every time we go out in public?" This was important, Lapis told herself. That was her justification for asking possibly offensive personal questions.

"Maybe?"

"You know you can just go invisible if you feel uncomfortable. I don't mind." _Actually I do mind, a little, but if she likes it better I can live with it._

"Okay," Peridot said after a minute of consideration. "I'll... probably do that." She ran her fingers through her hair, sighing. "So Lapis. Just because I'm here doesn't mean you have to rearrange your life, you know that, right? I mean–" she shifted uncomfortably, "you took a day off from work because of me, and I kinda disrupted your sleep, and... none of which was one purpose on my part, and all of which was probably inconvenient for you, but you know how it usually works is the subject goes about their day normally and I follow along and watch, and talk in the evenings at home or whatever... right?" For once, Peridot's voice had no hint of teasing in it. It was all seriousness, so Lapis decided to reply in the same manner.

"That may be so, Peridot, but really, I don't mind changing up my life a little. It gets boring. And don't worry about my taking a day off; it's totally fine. And as long as you don't invade my privacy and stuff... like, it's alright. It's just a little bit weird to think of having someone watching me all the time."

" _All_ the time?" Peridot smirked slightly, the seriousness passing from her face as Lapis reassured her. "Like, even when you're in the shower?"

"No," Lapis glared, although she knew Peridot was joking. " _No way._ If you look at me then, I swear I'll call the police – no, I'll find a way to dial up _God_ or something."

"Okay, okay," Peridot put her hands up in defeat. "I was kidding. Well so basically we're like room-mates. Okay. So we've talked, I guess. You got more to say?" She stretched and slipped off the bed, her wings appearing in a moment.

"No. I gotta make me some dinner now." Lapis got off the bed too, careful not to touch Peridot's wings (maybe they were delicate?), but before she could get too far, a hand was on her chin, icy cold but gentle. Peridot was lying on her stomach in the middle of the air, her body about head-level with Lapis, lifting Lapis's face up to face her own. She was close enough to– Lapis's breath caught in her throat, but she didn't – she _couldn't_ pull away. From here she could see the golden-gray specks in Peridot's green eyes, the light-colored lashes, the–

"If you could only just see your face right now," Peridot laughed, dropping her hand. Something inside Lapis gave a twinge; she ignored it and grumbled something incomprehensible at the angel as she walked to the fridge. Living with a "room-mate" – even, or rather, _especially_ if it was a flying magical tease-loving angel – was certainly going to be interesting.

She pulled the refrigerator door open and winced as a watermelon rolled out and dropped on her foot.

Yes, _interesting._

Now, where in all this mess was the carton of eggs?


	11. Chapter 11

"'Night Peridot," Lapis called sleepily. The angel in question was floating on her back near the ceiling, staring at the shadows and trying to think. At the sound of Lapis's words, she waved one hand lazily.

"'Night," she replied. "Sleep well and all that." Then she went back to staring at the ceiling. _This is going to work if I have to FORCE it to work. I'll make sure of that. This – whatever you want to call it. Friendship, I guess – between Lapis and I, that's not normal for an angel and her subject but I like it. I definitely like it and... and I like her. So I'll... I'll just find a way to make it work. As long as neither of us falls in love with the other or anything everything ought to be just fine._ That thought suddenly made her sit up, bonking her head on the ceiling. She reached a hand up and pushed off the whitewashed material, drifting down towards the ground. Lapis was already asleep, she noted with satisfaction; the woman must have been really tired. Stopping in midair, Peridot pinched at the air with two fingers and then twisted as if the air was a cloth, pulling it apart and opening a small portal in the middle of the room. She glanced over at Lapis one more time, then slipped through the portal and vanished as if she had never been.

The site she arrived at was very different from whence she came. The enormous room was brightly lit and colorful, and tens of white-clad people were walking around, all sporting enormous feathery wings. Peridot, too, had changed her outfit to the traditional angel robe. The walls were marble and flowers were everywhere, and in the center of the room was a big water fountain. This was the Travel Room in the Home of the Angels. Peridot looked around for a moment, gathering her thoughts, and then set off at a steady trot towards the ornately carved wooden double doors. She was an angel on a mission.

"Hello Peridot," someone called from not far away from her. She waved absentmindedly, muttering a 'hey' in return. She wasn't in the mood for a conversation, and besides, most angels were so darn _cheerful_ that it made her sick. Unfortunately, though, this conversation was not to be avoided, because the bearer of the voice was now trotting along next to her, talking a mile a minute. "Where have you been? Did you get a good subject this time? I know you were rather disappointed by your last one. Personally, I hope you find someone who's easy to work with. You look to me like you rather need a break."

"Mhm," Peridot nodded and decided to make one last attempt at escape. "But Rose, I really have to go check something in the library."

"Check what?" Okay, it was no use. With a sigh, Peridot resigned herself to this conversation with the taller angel.

"Never mind. What are you doing here? I thought you were assigned to someone last week?"

"Oh, yes, I was," Rose nodded, her mounds of curly brown hair tumbling over her shoulders. "I've come here because she was asleep and I was bored. She's a great girl, the one I was assigned to; I hope I can save her. And you? How _is_ it going? You never answered me."

Peridot slowed down as she approached the library doors, looking over at Rose for a moment. The large angel towered over her, her long pinkish dress reaching the ground. She was one of the only angels who paid much attention to Peridot, but she often annoyed the younger woman. "Lapis Lazuli, twenty years old, depressed and some other issues. I'm doing fine with her." She rattled off the sentences quickly and strode hurriedly into the library. "Other than that, I do have some research to do, so I'll have to talk to you later." Rose didn't catch Peridot's slightly hostile tone and just smiled kindly.

"Of course. See you around! And have fun with Lapis." The tall angel winked and flew away, leaving Peridot blinking after her and wondering what exactly Rose meant by that. She shook her head. It didn't _matter_.

"Let's see now... Angel rules... volume three... hmmm... where's the– oh, okay, here's the index." Not bothering to even sit down, Peridot hovered near the top of the bookshelves in the enormous library and paged through a thick book. "Page seven hundred twenty-two... "romantic interest"... here we go." She mumbled to herself as she read; it was an old habit. "'If an angel should be romantically attracted to the mortal assigned to them by the Authorities'... blah blah blah... 'the angel should control all desires... never show weakness'... oh, all that old drabble. Oh, here– 'if restraint fails, the angel will be replaced.' Well, that does it I guess. Wait, look here... 'for more information go to page eight hundred forty-six'." Muttering as she read, Peridot found out all she could from the handbook, and then went on to a book of stories. These books were _very_ boring, essentially a log of many angel's experiences with their subjects and mostly the repetition of the same story over and over, but Peridot managed to find a few that included the "forbidden love" story.

And forbidden it was, she discovered, to her mingled sorrow and relief. Angels were allowed to do whatever they liked with mortals, but getting attached to their subjects was not recommended. In only a few cases had angels formed lasting affections and remained with the mortal for the rest of the mortal's life, and those were the very small minority. Prospects were not good for those who gave way to emotions, and Peridot decided once and for all that she would _not_ allow herself to fall in love with Lapis. Definitely not.

Finishing her reading, Peridot sighed in acceptance and headed back towards the Travel Room. This time she flew quickly, wishing to avoid any acquaintances of any sort. Occasionally she would hang out with other angels between missions, but while she had a mortal assignment she tended to associate with nobody else. It was her way of staying focused on the mission. Luckily, she arrived in the room and opened a portal to Lapis's room without attracting any attention. Slipping in silently, she froze in horror at the sight that met her. On the bed, Lapis was sitting upright, eyes open and staring into nothingness. Her pupils were pinpoints and she was hugging a pillow as if it were her last lifeline, pale and shivering.

"Oh no," Peridot whispered, recognizing the symptoms. "Flashback."


	12. Chapter 12

The world was crashing down around Lapis and she couldn't see any way to escape.

It had started with a bad dream. A vision. A glimpse of that terrible room she had been trapped in, with mirrors on every wall so she could see _everything,_ every tear that pooled in her hopeless eyes and every taunting smile that her captors tossed her way. Yes, it had only lasted a few weeks, but the memories still haunted her. And then– and then– she had jolted out of the vision with a muffled gasp (her captor's faces she had forced herself to forget, but she could never forget how they had laughed when she cried) and sat, frozen, unable to move for fear of the world collapsing and crushing her, shattering her into fragments. If she moved, if she cried, if she– if she did anything, something terrible would happen, she _knew_ , despite the fact that she had been told that it wasn't true. They were wrong. This was real. Their reassurances were just desperate attempts at calming her down, but they didn't work; she _knew_ that this was real, and it was terrible. Her terror was gripping her and freezing her into place and she couldn't move a muscle. Her body was tense, lost in the thrall of horrors unseen by others, she couldn't even _blink_ because the mirrors behind her eyelids just showed her a picture of her own tear-streaked, bruised face, and this went on for goodness knows how long –

until a hand was placed on her shoulder.

At first, she barely noticed it. The hand was soft and cold, so gentle that it was barely there. And through the haze of confusion, Lapis heard soothing sounds – sounds without words, or at least, words she couldn't make out, but that was okay. She was still drifting, she wasn't sure where; it was hard to focus on anything... but there was that quiet voice in the background. And slowly the mirrors started fading away. Lapis took a deep breath, trying to pull away from the horror that had previously been filling her whole existence.

"Everything's okay... I'm here to help, don't worry," the voice was saying. Lapis took another deep breath, feeling a little bit of the weight that was resting on her shoulders – the condensed fear, the shattered reflections – drop off. There was no longer such a powerful sense of fear everywhere, and she found she could move now. She blinked, shivering, and let herself fall over sideways, still hugging the pillow. Instead of bumping the wall like she expected to, she found herself leaning on someone – Peridot's. She was too out of it to care, though. Her mind was fuzzy. Besides, Peridot didn't seem to care. Rather the opposite, actually. The angel simply wrapped her arms around Lapis and stayed there, still whispering comfortingly. Peridot's body practically radiated coolness, and Lapis soaked up the cold, letting it take her away from the place of burning dreams and flashing mirrors.

So they sat for a long time, angel and mortal, taking comfort from each other. Eventually, Peridot's soft words transitioned into humming, a vaguely familiar tune that eased away most of the remnants of Lapis's waking nightmare. Then the broken reflections were gone, and all that was left was a lingering feeling of sadness and fear, but that was going away too, and now Lapis could think a little bit better.

"Thank you," she whispered, her eyes closed as she nestled against Peridot's chest and hugged her own legs. Peridot's humming stopped, and she was silent for a moment before replying.

"You're welcome."

Lapis closed her eyes and rested for a while, her breathing slow. She was tired. After all, it was the middle of the night, and she hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before. Then again, she was just about always tired, so she was used to it. Besides, she was in a comfortable position, and Peridot was hugging her too, so there was no reason to move.

"...do you sleep?"

"No," Peridot replied slowly, her head turned away from Lapis. "I don't need to."

"But can you?"

"I think so."

"Why don't you, then?" Lapis opened her eyes and craned her neck to see Peridot's face. The angel sighed, a mournful look in her eyes.

"I don't know. It's... complicated."

"Oh," Lapis replied, looking down at her hands. "Okay." She yawned and cuddled closer to Peridot, who shifted slightly.

"Are you going to stay like this for the rest of the night?"

"Probably." Lapis's eyes drifted shut. _Funny, that I'm so familiar with someone who I met only yesterday,_ she pondered. _Or would that be two days ago? It's probably after midnight..._

"Hm," Peridot replied thoughtfully, but didn't say anything more. She pulled the pillow out of Lapis's grasp and placed it behind herself, leaning back (all this Lapis assumed without looking; her eyelids were too heavy to open) and settling down. Then she pulled the covers up over Lapis and, after a moment, resumed her gentle humming.

They stayed like that for the rest of the night.


	13. Chapter 13

Peridot was honestly becoming more and more convinced over time that love was the most refined form of torture that had ever been. To be so close, and yet so _far,_ all the time – it was simply awful. There was a sweet side to it, but mostly, it was terrible. And now, sitting on Lapis's bed while the blue-haired woman curled up against her, she was being plagued by the very feelings she had vowed only a short time ago to avoid at all costs. _Why me,_ she complained as she felt Lapis's chest rise and fall with each breath. _Why this_ , she lamented as Lapis's pulse beat against her. _Why HER,_ she wondered as she watched Lapis's eyelashes flutter. Peridot's arms were wrapped gently around Lapis because it was part of her assignment to comfort her when she was in trouble, but the angel was restless and it was hard for her to keep still. She wanted to pace around, or go for a flight, or – or just _do_ something so that the thoughts plaguing her would go away. But she couldn't move anywhere, not without disrupting Lapis's sleep, and she didn't want to wake her up.

"This is ridiculous," Peridot whispered as she gazed down at the sleeping Lapis. "It's... _I'm_ ridiculous." She tilted her head up towards the ceiling and sighed. This... it just wasn't working. And it was driving her crazy. _Would be so much easier if I was a perfect angel who didn't care about anything but was wonderful at pretending,_ she thought sarcastically. _But nooo, of course not! Flaw-full and a bad actress who lets her feelings control her, that's what I am. Which is, of course, just wonderful._ Looking back down at Lapis, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out slowly. _Okay, think Peridot, think. I just have to make SURE Lapis doesn't find out about my liking her, since I obviously can't stop myself from doing so. If I slip up, then... well, that isn't good, but hopefully I can pass it off as part of our little game. There's little to no risk of her falling for me (like, one percent chance she will, because who the heck would like_ me _, anyway?) so I won't worry about that._

Carefully, Peridot readjusted her body position so that the other girl was lying on her a little more comfortably. _So basically I just have to act natural. I should be able to do that. I came really close to losing control today..._ she gulped at the memory. _Managed to pass it off as a joke though._ She closed her eyes. _It's funny, in a certain sense. All my life I've lived by logic, and all my death too. But now I'm in a situation where I'm practically going against logic, and yet... well, here I am._ Feeling Lapis shivering slightly, Peridot summoned warmth from the area around her. She knew that her body heat was abnormally chilly, but she could actually change that if she wanted to, which was what she was working on doing right at that moment – practically turning herself into a heater.

The dark room slowly grew darker, and then eventually, lighter. Every time Lapis moved in her sleep, Peridot adjusted her own body position so that both of them would be comfortable. The waiting didn't bother her, but her thoughts did. _I'm managing this job terribly,_ she told herself. _Lapis sees me as a normal person. Why would she take advice from me? I wouldn't take advice from a random human stranger. Why should she, if that's what she sees me as? And that's from a purely objective standpoint._ She clenched her fists, then took a deep breath and forced herself to relax again – at least, outwardly. _I'm such an idiot._

 _Okay but it's not too late to fix this. It's NOT._ Peridot glanced around the room, which was filled with golden light from the window. It was morning, and that meant a new day, and that meant a new beginning of sorts, right? She just had to start acting more... mature. And responsible. And wise. And good.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a ringing sound coming from somewhere nearby. Lapis, too, jerked into action, reaching over and grabbing her phone from the bedside table (Peridot leaned backwards quickly to keep from being knocked in the face). A few clicks, and the alarm stopped, after which Lapis settled back down in Peridot's lap and sighed. _What a change from yesterday morning,_ Peridot thought, slightly amused.

"Doesn't that mean you have to get up?"

Lapis shook her head, bringing her hand up to cover her yawn. "Nah, I always set it half an hour early. Hey wait," she sat up. "What'chu doing here?"

Peridot resisted the urge to tease Lapis and replied simply, "you apparently had a flashback last night, so I came to help, and you fell asleep on me."

"Oh... well, uh, thanks, I guess," Lapis replied, rubbing the back of her neck and averting her eyes. "I guess I better start getting ready for the day...? Don't come in the bathroom, I'll be back soon." With that, Lapis hopped off the bed and grabbed some clothes from the dresser, making her way to the bathroom quickly.

 _A marked improvement, I guess,_ Peridot sighed. She turned her eyes away to keep her gaze from lingering on Lapis, which it was awfully prone to doing. Stupid emotions. Who needed them, anyway? Emotions were what caused her heart pound harder when Lapis was around, what caused her to feel nervous whenever those blue eyes were fixed on her. Emotions made her feel awkward and confused. Emotions made her stomach flutter and her heart jump to her throat, and all in all, emotions made this job about seventy percent more difficult.

 _But you like it, don't you?_ A rebellious voice spoke up in the back of her mind. _You like being attracted to Lapis. It makes this more interesting. It makes you feel more alive. It makes you feel special._ Frowning, she ordered that voice to shut up. Forbidden love meant forbidden love, and that was all there was to it!

...Right?


	14. Chapter 14

**[A/N: Once again, thank you to everyone who left reviews! I appreciate every single one of them, and will take critique in mind when I'm writing, so thank you.]**

There was something nice, Lapis reflected as she went around collecting empty coffee cups that customers had left on the table, about knowing someone cared about her. She hadn't ever had anyone who cared, because she had lost her father at a young age and couldn't remember him, and her mom was really distant. The only person who could maybe have been counted as someone who cared was the child she babysat occasionally, the kind-hearted twelve-year-old with an overprotective father and a mother who died in childbirth: Steven Universe. And maybe, only recently... Peridot.

It was four days now since Peridot had first arrived at her door. It was hard to believe; it felt like so much longer. By now, they had a routine of sorts. Thankfully, Lapis hadn't had any more flashbacks, not since that second night – but nightmares were common. Once or twice she thought she remembered a cool, comforting presence at the edges of her consciousness. Mysteriously (although probably not so much so for Peridot), Lapis's alarm had stopped ringing. Lapis found herself waking up on time without it; she very much suspected that Peridot had something to do with that, but if the angel knew anything, she wasn't telling.

So far, Peridot's existence had pretty much been a secret. Lapis had offered to introduce her to some friends, but the blonde had refused, and Lapis had humored her. So Lapis got ready and left for work early in the morning, knowing that Peridot was following somewhere behind her. She had a quick breakfast with Amethyst, as usual, and then opened up shop. All day, she knew that her angel was somewhere nearby. At first she had feared that she would feel as if she were being stalked, but instead, there was something comforting about knowing that an angel was protecting her. Peridot had wandered into the shop in human form a few times now, always during the emptiest hours, but she never ordered anything.

Now it was Friday afternoon, a bit after lunch, and Lapis couldn't help but wonder what would happen over the weekend. Normally, she would hang out with Jasper or Amethyst, or take Steven to the beach or the park. But with Peridot... well, she wasn't sure. Should she go about life normally, like Peridot recommended? Or should she try and make Peridot feel more included, like her manners were telling her to? She figured she would probably choose the second option (partly because she didn't like people telling her what to do), but then there was the issue of _how_ to go about doing that. Should she just take a break from everything to spend time with Peridot? To be honest, that actually sounded like a good idea. She wasn't sure what it was about the teasing angel, but her company was... well, enjoyable. And it wasn't as if she weren't nice to look at, either. No, she was...

Lapis's mind reigned up her thoughts quickly; she had long learned to be cautious about thinking of others in... _that_ way. Although honestly, she wasn't sure if what she felt for Peridot _was_ a crush. It was strange. Was it allowed for a human to be attracted to an angel? Was it even _possible?_ Peridot hadn't told her anything about it, even though Lapis had asked her to look it up. All the same, Lapis figured, she might as well assume it wasn't allowed, and refrain from thinking about Peridot in any way other than as a platonic friend (and maybe a therapist). Teasing was okay, but actually _meaning_ what she said was to be avoided at all costs. It was a thin line to tread, but Lapis thought she could handle it.

Sighing, Lapis dumped the contents of her waitress tray into the trash bin and tossed the tray onto a shelf. _So I guess I should just get used to living with Peridot around for the next while. As a friend._ She made her way to the kitchen, thinking, _I should also introduce her to the others – or at least Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst. Maybe Jasper. It's not as if I know many other people anyway, and honestly, the sooner the better._

With that decided, Lapis ran her hands under the tap water for a moment, getting ready to get to the counter for her afternoon's work, when everyone came in for tea. It was going to be a boring afternoon, she could already tell–

"Don't forget the soap," a voice said from directly behind her. She yelped and spun, almost falling over, and startled blue eyes met amused green. Peridot crossed her arms and smirked at her, hovering a few inches above the ground (she tended to do that; evidently she enjoyed being taller than Lapis).

"Oh, hi Peridot," Lapis deadpanned, trying to pretend she hadn't just been scared out of her wits. She turned around again, squirting some soap onto her hands.

"How's everything going?" There was quiet laughter hidden in Peridot's voice.

"It's whatever." Lapis washed off her hands and dried them off on her shorts. Then she turned to look at Peridot. "Can I introduce you to the others now? Amethyst's not here today, but Pearl and Garnet–"

"No," Peridot interrupted, her smile fading. "I don't want to meet anyone."

"But–"

"I said, _no_ ," repeated Peridot, frowning now. "And I _meant_ no. Just drop it."

"I think–"

" _Drop it._ " The angel's expression was stone-cold.

"I was _going_ to say," Lapis retorted, "That I think you should, but if you really don't want to, you don't have to. Now I need to go to the counter, the customers are arriving, excuse me–" she pushed past Peridot, who was blocking her way. Once again she was surprised at how _cold_ the floating figure was. Like, really, did she have her own personal air-conditioning or something? Peridot's fingers brushed Lapis's neck, and she felt a strange jolt go through her, but brushed it off and ignored the angel as she hovered along behind her.

Lapis arrived at the counter and donned an apron and a smile, greeting the customers with her usual friendly air despite the presence of Peridot directly beside her – so close that there was a colder temperature in the air next to her, but not close enough to touch. Obviously the angel was invisible to everyone else, but Lapis had to be careful for fear of bumping into her, and all in all Peridot was just being a nuisance. _Couldn't she just, like, fly up towards the ceiling or something?_ Lapis complained to herself. _And NOT be in my way all the time? Honestly. She's usually a reasonable and intelligent being but right now she's totally acting like a kid._

Time passed excruciatingly slowly. Lapis tried to pass the time by trying to take in every detail about every person she saw, just for something to do, but her concentration was dissolved every time she made accidental contact with Peridot. Small touches; a hand brushing Peridot's wing as she turned to call orders to Pearl, or Peridot's fingers ghosting over her arm as she reached for a straw for a little kid. Part of Lapis suspected that the angel was doing it on purpose, but then again, why would she do that? _To be annoying, obviously,_ she rolled her eyes internally. _Yeah, but why in this way? Because she knows it mixes me up to be so close to her, for reasons... I'm not going to think about those, but anyway, for reasons? Because she just likes it this way? Oh, I don't know, but it's awfully annoying._

At long, long last the evening arrived and at nine thirty, the café closed. Lapis ushered the last customers out (an old lady and her son, who had been very slow to leave) and wiped off the tables, yawning. Pearl was busting about behind the counter, so Lapis still couldn't confront the hovering angel. Cleaning up didn't take too long, though, and soon enough Lapis picked up her back and left for home.

"Okaaay," she began once she arrived, turning towards the half-visible Peridot. "What was that about?"

The angel, becoming more opaque by the moment, lay backwards in the air at Lapis's chest-level. "What was what about?" She questioned innocently.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about," Lapis retorted, not giving in so easily. "Your being within a meter of me all afternoon, that's what I'm talking about."

"I have no idea what you mean," Peridot replied still more innocently, putting her hands behind her head and floating calmly in the air. Lapis wasn't fooled, and she was getting annoyed. Teasing was alright some of the time, but really, Peridot was doing _way_ too much of it! There had to be seriousness _some_ of the time.

"Come on," Lapis said, trying to convey the seriousness of the matter through her tone. "Peridot, I mean it. Why were you doing that? I mean, look at it from my point of view–," she pulled her shoes off as she spoke–, "I'm a regular human with some problems and at one point I find out that I now have a sort of guardian angel. Pretty cool. But if that angel doesn't seem to match what I think of as an angel, then I have to readjust my thinking - which I did, and it's all good, except for that now the angel is suddenly acting weirdly and invading my personal space. What do you think I should do?"

Peridot sighed, apparently accepting the topic and its importance. "Talk to me and ask me to stop," she offered.

"Exactly. And that's what I'm doing."

"Right, right," Peridot nodded. "I... yeah. Right. Okay. By the way, I found out the policies for angels who fall in love with humans."

Seeing that Peridot wasn't planning on elaborating, Lapis pressed her. "...yes?"

"It's... forbidden," Peridot replied uncomfortably.

"Figures," Lapis replied slowly. "What about humans who fall in love with angels?"

"I," Peridot's eyes darted around, "didn't look it up?"

"Could you?"

"...guess I could," the angel muttered. _Why so reluctant?_ Wondered Lapis.

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna take a shower now because I feel all icky. I'll be out in a while."

Lapis tossed her bag onto her bed and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door. She locked it (locks wouldn't work against angels, but it still made her feel more private) and then took a deep breath, thinking. What was going on? Peridot was acting weirdly. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she could think about it while she took her shower. Like a detective, reading the evidence...


	15. Chapter 15

_I'm so bad at this,_ Peridot told herself, and sighed because she had been thinking that far too often lately. _Telling myself I'm bad at this is pointless, but what am I supposed to do? Tell Lapis? Though honestly,_ she reflected, _that might... I dunno. What if she laughs? I don't think I could bear it. And, I mean, we did sorta make it into a competition of sorts, so... she_ might _laugh if I admit I lost. I'm probably just being paranoid. I mean, judging by what I know of Lapis, she probably won't laugh... maybe. I don't_ know! _Why do people have to be so difficult to deal with? So hard to understand?_

Peridot puffed up her cheeks and blew out slowly, frustrated by the thought that she was well and truly _stuck_ in this predicament. But surely she wasn't the first; surely _some_ angel somewhere had experienced this problem before. Why, then, were there no records on it in the library? There _ought_ to be some, unless the instances were hushed up. Come to think of it, they probably were. Which meant that she was on her own...

"Hey Peridot, is everything okay? You've been in the exact same position for ten minutes now, and you didn't even blink when I came out of the bathroom."

Peridot turned to face the blue-clad Lapis, hiding all traces of her internal struggle. "I'm okay," she replied. "Just... thinking."

"'Bout what?" Lapis sat down on her bed, plumping up the pillow as she watched Peridot's face with eyes that seemed to stare right into her soul.

"Mmmh... nothing much." _Liar, liar,_ her thoughts whispered, stated, screamed.

"Oookay," Lapis squinted at Peridot. "Iiiif you say so. Anyway, um, I have nothing to do for the rest of the evening and I'm assuming you haven't got anything to do either. So what do you say we go somewhere? You can go invisibly if you want to, but tomorrow's Saturday so it's not as if I have to wake up early, and staying home is boring."

"Go... where?"

"Somewhere. I don't know. This is a small town. We could just go for a walk and see where we get to. Is that okay with you?"

"Uh.. sure, I guess," Peridot shrugged. Anything to get her mind off her troubles, right? If just for a little while. She would have to solve this eventually, but... not now. Lapis nodded and ran a hand through her hair, yawning as she got to her feet.

"Right. C'mon then." Peridot weighed her options: invisible or not? Staying visible would probably make her nervous. Surely this social anxiety thing would go away if she ignored it enough... hopefully, anyway. Or maybe if she faced it, it would stop bothering her. Regardless, she settled on remaining fully visible, simply concentrating on making her wings disappear and changing her outfit – something new this time; a green-blue scarf and skirt, white sweater with green stitches, and aquamarine shoes.

The two of them left, side-by-side; one woman in blue and the other in green. Neither of them spoke for a while, walking down the sidewalk in relative silence. There weren't many people around, and those who were walking down the path didn't seem to be in any particular hurry.

"How about the park? D'you wanna go to the park?" Lapis asked suddenly as they rounded a corner. Peridot, who was busy forcing herself to stay visible, just shook her head. "Hmm, okay. How about... oh I dunno. Hey, there's Amethyst! Wonder what she's up to? I'm gonna go ask her, you can come if you want. If not I'll be right back." Peridot glanced around; a few meters ahead was a pudgy, brown-skinned woman with lavender-dyed hair. She was, surprisingly, even shorter than Lapis and herself. _Amethyst,_ noted Peridot with a nod. _Okay._ She hung back as Lapis spoke to Amethyst, waiting to see what would happen. Lapis gestured at Peridot with one hand as she spoke, and Amethyst laughed, and said something...

Lapis hurried back to Peridot, grinning. "There's a party today! D'you wanna go? It's gonna have lots of fun games to do, and music, and... well, probably junk food and alcoholic drinks, but you don't have to try that."

Peridot decided to take a risk. "Okay," she said slowly, nodding carefully. Sure, she probably wouldn't enjoy the party, but Lapis would, and she was supposed to make sure Lapis was happy. _That's not what Lapis wants you to do,_ a voice in her head said. _She wants you to do what makes YOU happy._ She shut that voice up, trying to convince herself it wasn't important.

Lapis grinned and led Peridot over to Amethyst, introducing her. Amethyst waved ("Yo! What up? Nice ta meet'cha!") and pointed them both over to a building not far away, telling them to knock and say they were sent there by Amethyst. Peridot smiled as best as she could and nodded in acknowledgement, following Lapis wordlessly. She detached herself from the world, keeping Lapis within her sight but not interacting with anyone otherwise. The tingling feeling at the back of her neck – that people were _watching_ her _,_ _judging_ her _–_ didn't go away, but she kept ignoring it.

It felt like ages and ages at the party, and Peridot spend most of the time puzzling through the problem of her crush on Lapis. She didn't come up with any viable solution, which was really very frustrating. At nearly midnight, Peridot decided it was probably time to go home. She approached Lapis quietly, suspiciously eyeing the glass in the blue-haired woman's hand. That was an alcoholic drink, wasn't it... And judging by her appearance, Lapis had obviously had quite a bit of it. Even now she was laughing and joking louder than usual as she sat among a group of rowdy people, and she swayed a little in her seat, eyes not quite focusing on anything. _Well, that could make this more difficult,_ Peridot reflected, o _r it could make it easier – I'm not sure._

She had dealt with drunkenness before; many a time the humans she had been assigned to had been plagued by drinking problems. So Peridot approached, clearing her throat, and placed a steady hand on Lapis's shoulder. She ignored the fluttering in her heart and spoke up. "Lapis, we have to go," she announced.

"Nahhh, there's lots of time!" Peridot winced at the loud response and shook her head.

"No, Lapis, we're going now."

Lapis sighed. "...kay. Bye everyone!" There was a slurred chorus of goodbyes from the group and then Lapis got unsteadily to her feet. Peridot hurriedly moved to support her, flinching every time she accidentally brushed Lapis's skin. It sent a strange sensation through her whole body whenever that happened.

"Okay, come, Lapis. This way. Put your cup down over there, and we're going that way." Peridot summoned up all her patience, knowing that the journey home would not be easy. She'd have to stay determined, though. After all, it was all for the good of Lapis. _Darn, I shouldn't have let her get drunk,_ sighed Peridot to herself. _It's not good for her. Oh well, as long as it doesn't happen often..._ _Just have to be wary when I bring her home, is all._

Eventually the two arrived back at the house and Peridot guided Lapis to the bathroom and pulled away from her. "Brush your teeth," she ordered, "and I'll get you some water to drink."

"Noooo," Lapis replied, leaning against the wall in order to stay on her feet. "Don'wanna."

"Do it anyway." Peridot floated over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of cold water, ignoring Lapis's protests.

"Nooo," repeated Lapis, stumbling over to her bed and sitting on it. "I won't. I'd rather stay here... wanna play a game? Truth or dare maybe?"

Peridot dropped to the ground and walked over to Lapis, sitting beside her and handing her the water bottle. "You want to play truth or dare?"

"Mmmhm," Lapis replied, struggling with opening the bottle. Peridot reached over and turned the cap open for her, freezing for an instant when their fingers brushed. _Truth or dare, huh,_ Peridot smiled faintly. _Alcohol does strange things to human's brains. But really, if I do play... what's the worst that could happen?_

"Okay, I'll play with you. But only if you're ready for bed, I don't want to have to wake you up if you fall asleep in the middle of something. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Good."


	16. Chapter 16

"Everything's so colorful," mumbled Lapis drowsily as she seated herself on the bed for the second time, leaning back against the wall. "And sounds sound _weird_."

"That's because you're drunk," retorted Peridot without missing a beat.

"Not really," Lapis denied, and Peridot rolled her eyes and didn't deign to answer to such a blatant lie. "Whatever, kay. Let's just play T or D now."

Peridot nodded slowly, trying to remember how truth or dare was played. She had watched people play it a few times over the years, but had never tried it herself. Well, it was pretty straightforward, obviously, but... eh, she'd just "go with the flow" like she had been advised to do.

"You go first," Lapis went on with a faint smile, her eyes fixed on Peridot's face. "Truth or dare?"

"...Um," Peridot lifted her eyes to the ceiling, seating herself on the bed next to Lapis and trying to decide which option was the smarter one. "Truth."

"Okaaaay," Lapis drawled the word, slow and drowsy. She slid against the wall, moving closer to Peridot. The angel crossed her legs, then uncrossed them, waiting. "How'd you die?"

Peridot wrinkled her nose at the crudeness of the question. Surely Lapis wouldn't ask that if she wasn't... intoxicated. But she might as well answer, right? "It... was an accident. I, uh, fell off a cliff. Sort of." _And honestly it was maybe sorta half on purpose,_ she added silently. Then, before Lapis could comment on that, she asked, "truth or dare?"

Lapis slipped further along the wall, resting her head on Peridot's shoulder. Peridot stiffened, unable to keep herself from feeling the butterflies in her stomach. She didn't pull away, though. "I choose... dare," Lapis answered, and Peridot took a shaky breath, trying to focus. _Why is she so darn distracting? And how is she so warm and, and soft?_

"I dare you to..." She cast her gaze around the room, searching for ideas. "To pick out the first book you see, open it to a random page, and read a paragraph of it out loud as dramatically as you can." Lapis sat up (suddenly Peridot's side felt cold) and slipped off the bed, almost falling over. Peridot's wings were out before she could blink and she flew forward to stop the blue-haired woman from hurting herself. "Careful," warned the angel.  
"I _am_ being careful," Lapis retorted, leaning into Peridot. The angel landed on the ground and pushed Lapis to a standing position, but Lapis kept falling onto Peridot – never in the other direction. Sighing, the blonde told Lapis to just sit on the bed and wait while _she_ got a book. _Gosh, she can't even_ stand _right now._ "Oooh, The Golden Compass," commented Lapis at the sight of the book. She took it from Peridot's hands, almost dropping it, and patted the bed next to her as a sign for Peridot to come sit down. The angel did so, spreading her wings out against the wall to stretch them. Lapis cuddled up beside her again, opening the book with clumsy fingers and donning a British accent for some reason.

"...Well?" Peridot asked after five minutes of silence.

"Oh, sorry, yeah. Um." Lapis passed a few pages, cleared her throat, and began. "Ah, here. 'She lay on her bunk thinking of that savage mighty bear, and the careless way he drank his fiery spirit, and the loneliness of him is his dirty lean-to. How different it was to be human, with one's–' I don't know how to pronounce that word. Demon? Daymon? Dæmon, anyway– 'always there to talk to! In the silence of the shtill sip, I mean still ship, without the continual creak of metal and cut, cut, _timberrrr,_ or the rumble of the engine or the _rushhh_ of water along the side, Lyra' – is that pronounced Lira or Lie-ra?– 'gradually fell asleep, with... um, Pan... on her pillow sleeping too.' _[quote comes from The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman, page 183, just for the record]_ Yow, that's a lot of big words. Anyway, now it's your turn again. You wanna boring truth or a cool dare?"

Peridot, feeling a little overwhelmed, simply replied, "truth." It was hard to concentrate with Lapis pressed against her side, fiddling with a loose feather on one of her giant white wings.

"Boooring," groaned Lapis, twisting her head to look at her companion. "Choose a dare next time, they're more interesting! Okay, now, how many people have you ever loved? Romantically I mean."

"I... I don't know," Peridot bit her lip. _One when I was alive, and... Lapis? No, no, that's... that's not allowed!_ "One or two. Truth or dare?"

"...truth." Lapis yawned, resting her cheek on Peridot's shoulder.

Peridot decided that maybe this _was_ a good way to find out more about the person she was supposed to be helping. "If you could have any job you wanted, which would you choose?"

"Hmmm... I'd like to be a marine biologist," Lapis replied, wrapping her arms loosely around Peridot's waist. The angel took another deep breath, telling herself that it was no big deal; Lapis didn't know what she was doing _,_ this wasn't her, it was... there wasn't... they weren't breaking the angel rules, nobody was loving anyone. Right?

"...know what? You're mine now."

"Excuse me?"

"You're not going anywhere," Lapis informed her, eyes half-lidded. Peridot wasn't sure what to do. This... this was normal, right? Intoxicated people could be flirty and weird, right? It didn't mean anything... right? "Oh, I know what you're thinking," whispered Lapis, sending shivers up Peridot's spine. "You're thinking that I'm drunk and this doesn't mean anything. Well... maybe I am a bit drunk. I mean I only had, what, one? Two? Seven? Twelve cups? I don't know. But it doesn't matter. I mean every word that I say. And now, I say, you're _mine._ "

Peridot stared at Lapis, unable to understand what was going on. Why was... what did... how could... huh?

"So I won't let you go anywhere. You're staying here," Lapis concluded.

"But–"

"Nnnn... I dun' care 'bout your 'scuses," mumbled Lapis, her voice muffled as she nuzzled Peridot's shoulder. The storm of emotions that overcame Peridot suddenly grew stronger, but she stayed still. "...Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Peridot replied, a little nervous. Who knew what Lapis would ask her to do? It could be _anything,_ since alcohol relaxed people's boundaries and– well, she hoped it wouldn't be too bad.

Lapis barely hesitated. "I dare you to taste food."

"Oh," Peridot, torn between relieved and annoyed, nodded hesitantly. "Well. Okay... um, you do know I have to get up, right?"

Lapis sighed. "Can't'chu just use magic or something?"

"No," Peridot replied simply. Lapis sighed again, more dramatically this time, and sat up – obviously too fast, because she then brought a hand up to her forehead and widened her eyes as if trying to focus.

"Woah... the room's all spinny," she commented to nobody in particular. Then, turning to Peridot, she ordered, "Well, go get an apple or something." Peridot obediently slid off the bed and hovered over to the refrigerator. Lapis had organized it recently, so now there was less danger of food falling on the person who opened the fridge door. Pulling open a drawer at the bottom of the fridge, she located the best-looking apple she could and took it out. Just looking at it made her stomach turn. Eat... for the first time in three hundred years... could she, really? She fluttered back towards Lapis, coming to a resting spot next to the blue-haired woman.

"Do I _have_ to?" It was worth one more shot, because the more she though about it, the less appetizing the apple seemed. Lapis didn't answer; she seemed to have zoned out, her gaze fixed on Peridot's face. "Um... Lapis?" Still no reply, and Peridot started to get worried. "Lapis, snap out of it," she tried again.

"I'm here," Lapis replied slowly. "Just thinking... You have really pretty eyes."

"Um. Thanks, I guess...?"

"And your freckles are cool too. They look like... like someone just sprinkled sugar on your cheeks and forehead... adorable. You can eat the apple now."

Peridot blinked at the abrupt change of topic, plunged back into the confusion she had thought she escaped. With a shrug, she accepted it. There wasn't really anything wrong with being confused. Instead of dwelling on this, she turned her thoughts to the apple. She looked at it and gulped, her mouth dry. Did her digestive system even function anymore? She had no idea, and honestly, she didn't really want to know. But... one bite couldn't hurt, right? Just... one bite... her mouth was refusing to open, or was she just refusing to open it? She wasn't sure. Either way, it...

"I can't," she finally gave in. "I... just can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I just... please don't make me eat it – eat anything."

"Welllll, okay. But you get a truth _and_ a dare instead."

"Deal," agreed Peridot, slightly relieved. "First, though, are you sure you're okay?" Lapis was staring at nothing in particular, her eyes unfocused, and her mouth barely moved when she talked – Peridot had to strain to hear her words.

"Mmhm. Just thinking, like I said. Now, let's see... when's your birthday?"

"I'm not sure, actually. When's yours?"

"Nuh uh, pretty one, I still have a dare left." Lapis's eyes focused on Peridot for a moment and she smiled mysteriously.

 _This girl is seriously confusing,_ Peridot reflected – not for the first and not for the last time.


	17. Chapter 17

Flashing lights bright bright bright, colors overwhelming splashing in her vision and the whole room was spinning slightly on its axis and the whoosh of Peridot's breathing was louder than it had any right to be and she could hear her own heartbeat pounding hard but it was alright; she was alright. Maybe she had drunk a bit too much. It was fine, though, because she felt so much more aware of the world and it was partly disorienting and partly just wonderful and she noticed so many tiny details that she had never seen before, especially things about Peridot, about how the angel would point her toes inwards when she sat with them straight out in front of her, and how her eyes glinted when she looked at Lapis, and how she was pale with just a hint of pink in her cheeks. And now Lapis had to think of a dare, she remembered; a good dare that would be challenging but not too much so. So she thought about it and closed her eyes to get rid of the distraction that was Peridot, but she couldn't ignore the coolness of the angel as she pressed against her side. Somehow it became abundantly clear that she did have a crush on Peridot, if it could be called that, she didn't know, but that wasn't important.

Dare, dare, dare, she reminded herself, thinking hard, but it seemed as if she was still in the middle of thinking when her mouth opened without her meaning it to and she heard herself saying "I dare you to kiss me," just like that, and she wondered why her subconscious had said that and why her mouth wasn't listening to her. But the next moment her thoughts were taken up by how Peridot's face blanched and her freckles stood out so much, and then how the angel asked shakily if she was sure about it and Lapis nodded, afraid to say anything because she knew she actually wanted this but had been too afraid to ask. And then Peridot had turned herself half towards Lapis and met her eyes and waited for a moment, and Lapis tapped her fingers on the bed in anticipation, her breath coming faster as she stayed frozen.

"Are you positive–" Peridot began to ask again, but Lapis had gotten fed up with waiting and she nodded once more, toes tapping in the air, fingers dancing across the bed, heart thumping with an unsteady beat. She wasn't sure this was a good idea, in fact she was sure it wasn't, but she was sure she wanted this, she really did. Peridot nodded in return, her expression still as stone but Lapis could feel her trembling. And then Peridot leaned forwards and pressed her lips to Lapis's for a moment, just a moment, and then she was gone, leaving Lapis with nothing but the faint taste of cinnamon and a heart that threatened to jump out of her chest. Expression still unmoving, Peridot asked "Truth or dare?" – and the only sign of any emotion was that her words spilled out too fast, tumbling over each other.

Sighing, Lapis decided that a barely-kiss was better that no kiss at all, even though she wished it had lasted more than two seconds. She considered, briefly, and settled on "truth" as she settled back down against Peridot, ignoring the soft tickling of the angel's feathers.

"What do you think of me?" Peridot asked, turning her head slightly so she could look at Lapis. The bluenette bit her lip. This was going to be a hard one to answer without giving too much away, and despite the haze in Lapis's mind she did know there was a lot she had to not give away... she closed her eyes so she saw only a blurry sliver of light and color, trying to think clearly.

"I think you're a lot more complex... complexicated than you seem," she began slowly. "Like, at first I thought you were annoying... but you're not annoying anymore, or maybe I just got used to you. And you're pretty nice, even though you seem kinda... Prickly? You're pretty smart, I think. And interesting. I'd really like to get to know you better... You're also pretty, like I said," and here Lapis stopped because she felt like she was getting into the danger zone. "...And I've said all I should."

Peridot smiled crookedly. "Are you trying to tell me something?" With her eyes glinting like they were, she looked rather dangerous. "Have I won our little game?"

Lapis smirked back. "No way, nohow. I haven't fallen in love with you any more than you've fallen for me," and she had the suspicion that she was completely right – maybe it was something in Peridot's face, or in the way she talked, but somehow, Lapis had the idea that Peridot had a crush on _her._ It was hard to tell, but as she had heard people say, a woman always knows.

"What if I told you," Peridot asked, "That I can change that?"

"Go ahead," Lapis challenged. _Thisisabadidea thisisaBADIDEA_ her conscience said but she didn't care, she didn't care at _all_ , because she was totally ready for whatever Peridot had planned. Whatever it was.

"I will," Peridot responded coolly. "Soon... Now, shall we go on with the game?" Peridot settled down against the wall, wrapping one arm around Lapis's shoulder and sighing softly. She leaned in close and whispered in Lapis's ear, so quietly she was barely audible: "By the way, I think you're pretty too."

Lapis smiled for real this time, not a mischievous smile but a happy one. Oh, she definitely liked this angel. No doubt about it, whatever she might say when she wasn't drunk. She did like her. She _did_. And she was going to make Peridot like her back if it was the last thing she did. Angel or no angel. Forbidden or not forbidden. After all, what was the fun in a normal romance story? Forbidden love was interesting. Challenging. Rewarding. Whatever was going to happen, she could take it.

"Truth or dare?"


	18. Chapter 18

Peridot let out a long, overdramatic sigh. Such a well-performed sigh, in fact, that she rather wished there had been someone around to hear it – but there was nobody, because apart from herself, the only other person in the room was fast asleep. That had been the case an hour ago, too, and two hours ago, and three – and Peridot had to admit that she was _really bored._ Waiting eight hours a night while Lapis slept was one thing, but now she had been waiting for at least _ten_ hours and she was getting really tired of waiting. She glanced impatiently at the clock. To be exact... she wrinkled her nose thoughtfully as she did the math. Ten hours and thirty-three minutes. It was now past noon. Okay, that did it; Lapis's sleeping-time was up, even if she _had_ gone to sleep at around two in the morning.

Straightening up, the angel stretched briefly and glanced down at herself, wondering if a change of outfit was in order. Nah, she decided; there was no need. She turned her gaze to Lapis, who was curled up under the blankets, blue hair spiking out in every direction – and she smiled slightly, because wow, was Lapis adorable or what? Then she reached out, suddenly reluctant to wake her companion up, to shake her out of that peaceful state. The thought of more hours sitting around being bored stiffened her resolve; she grabbed Lapis's shoulder and shook gently.

"Wake up, Lapis," she prompted softly. There was no response. She tried again, dragging out her syllables. "Lapiiiiis, come onnnnn. It's time to get uuuup."

The blue-haired woman grumbled something incomprehensible and buried her face in her pillow.

"No Lapis, don't go back to sleep," Peridot raised her voice a little. "Open your eyes. It's past noon."

"Don' wanna," was the muffled reply. "Lemme 'lone."

Peridot shook her head, then realized Lapis couldn't see her anyway. Feeling slightly foolish, she said, "No, I won't. Get _up–"_

Her words were cut off abruptly when Lapis lifted her head slightly and reached out, eyes half-open, and grasped Peridot's wrist, pulling her onto the bed next to her. "You talk too much," the human complained. She nuzzled into Peridot's neck, and the angel was too surprised by the sudden change of events to pull away at first. After a moment she made one attempt at sitting up, which failed when Lapis wrapped her arms around her.

"Lapis–" she gasped slightly, trying to keep herself from losing control of her breathing pattern. Once again Lapis had become silent, though, and just about melted against Peridot as she fell back towards sleep. "Lapis, please," she tried again. "Don't you think it's time to get up?"

"No," Lapis replied again, slightly less groggily this time – Peridot took that as a good sign.

"Well I do," she went on, "So go on–"

"No, I don't want to," Lapis repeated obstinately. Then, after a moment– "'S nicer staying here with you."

(Somewhere inside her mind, Peridot found herself agreeing with that statement.)

"I– oh come on, Lapis," She lifted her chin slightly, trying to ignore the tickling of Lapis's hair on her neck. "It's Saturday. You had a lot planned for today, and–"

"For goodness' sakes, Peridot, if you weren't so adorable I'd say you were _unbearable,"_ Lapis told her sleepily. "If I wanted a room-mate, I'd've gotten 'em to pay half the rent, and get their own bed... Please be quiet 'fore I do something I'll regret later."

"Like what?" Peridot asked, partly curious, and partly just wanting to tease.

"Like," Lapis paused, shaking her head slightly. "...I dunno. Something. Just shush." And after a few moments, Peridot decided that maybe that wasn't _really_ a bad idea.

Twenty minutes later, though, she was beginning to get fed up with it. Honestly, enough was enough! It _was_ nice to stay like this, with someone she... someone she _liked_ curled up against her. But she couldn't stay like this. It – no. Lapis falling in love with her, she was okay with, but the other way around... She looked down at Lapis, and shivered at the feeling that passed through her. _No, no, NO._ Unacceptable. Once again she pulled away, trying to escape from the human's hug – and this time she succeeded. Lapis rolled onto her back, her eyes halfway open.

"You really want me to get up...?" She asked slowly, as if weighing something in her mind. "Even though my head hurts?"

"Hangover," dismissed Peridot. Was Lapis trying to play to her weaknesses? It wasn't going to work, she decided. "No offense, but you deserve it."

Lapis waved her hand mockingly. "No offense, but," she retorted in a high-pitched, nasally voice that was obviously an attempt at copying Peridot (the angel wasn't sure whether she should be offended or not). She reverted to her normal tone, saying, "Five more minutes?"

"No," Peridot replied stiffly. "You've had twenty _._ "

Lapis groaned again and slowly sat up, resting her hand on her forehead and wincing. "Owwww. Wish I could make it go 'way..."

Peridot hesitated, hovering in the air next to the bed. Lapis was just joking, of course, but the truth was that she could at least _reduce_ the human's headache if she wanted to. The question was, should she? Maybe suffering through a headachey morning would help convince Lapis not to drink so much in the future. Or maybe it didn't really matter anyway. Peridot looked over her companion for a moment, considering. The human took that moment to glance up, blue eyes tired, and a rush of pity swept through Peridot. "Hang on a sec," she said slowly, and landed on the bed on her knees. She leaned towards Lapis before the human could push her away and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"Hey, don't _do_ tha–" Lapis started protesting, pushing Peridot away, but stopped suddenly, her expression softening. "Ohhh... Uh. Sorry. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Peridot replied in her calmest voice, shrugging Lapis's hands off her shoulders. She waited for a few minutes, determined not to be a nag, and to her relief Lapis got to her feet without prompting. Satisfied, Peridot took up a waiting position near the ceiling and thought through what she was going to do that day. Last night had been... interesting. Lapis hadn't loosened her tongue entirely, but her speech was freer than usual, and she had said more than she would probably usually have... and Peridot, well, she had loosened up too, although she hadn't been under the influence of anything except for Lapis herself. There was a sort of dizzying pleasure in being next to the human, a tingling sensation, nervousness but also joy and something else too, something she couldn't place, but it was more powerful than everything else.

So.

She took a deep breath, remembering last night, how her head had been so full of buzzing confidence that she had whispered that she could make Lapis fall in love with her. Objectively, it was a terrible idea. Emotionally, it was most certainly very enticing. She didn't want... she didn't want _sex_ , she decided. What she wanted was... she considered it for a moment more. _Comfort_ , maybe. Someone she could care for and depend upon through thick and thin. Which – well, it wasn't really possible, was it. Unless she somehow got assigned to Lapis for the rest of the woman's life... Peridot twisted her mouth wryly; the prospect of staying (supposedly) young as Lapis grew older wasn't that pleasant either. Of course Peridot _could_ , at least temporarily, change her appearance, but that wasn't the same.

The only option that made sense was for Lapis to have a bad accident and die and join Peridot as an angel, but _really_ , Peridot couldn't wish that upon _anyone_ , let alone Lapis – not when the pretty woman had her whole _life_ ahead of her.

She swore under her breath, unable to think of anything that might work. Why did her existence have to be so full of difficulties? And this one was one that _couldn't_ be solved, as far as she could see. Well. Back to the immediate problem of today. She'd have to talk with Lapis now that she was no longer intoxicated. Say... something. She puffed up her cheeks in frustration, wondering, _what, though? What can I – what_ dare _I talk to her about?_ Darn. Why was this so hard? It shouldn't be. She should be confident. She had _years_ of experience dealing with tricky humans, for goodness' sake! She blew out slowly, shaking her head. Fat lot of good _that_ did her. She felt just as inexperienced as a teenager who "liked" someone for the first time at the age of thirteen.

And the next moment, Lapis was out of the bathroom, yawning, and it was too late to do any more thinking. Peridot had to act. She gave herself one moment to compose herself, then flew down to the ground as composedly as she could.

"Good?" she asked simply.

Lapis nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. D'you wanna go somewhere, or stay here?"

"Stay," Peridot replied, waving her hand in dismissal. "But... Um..." She took a deep breath. "I'd like to have a discussion with you."

"Uh-oh," Lapis responded with a faint, teasing smile as she made her way over to the bed again, seating herself on the edge. "That doesn't sound good...! But okay." She tilted her head to the side and patted the spot next to her invitingly, and Peridot joined her, feeling slightly as if she were about to fall off a cliff (and sadly she knew what _that_ felt like).

Before she could stop herself, Peridot blurted out, "I have a problem." _A big problem._


	19. NO MORE

Sorry guys, I'm out of fanfiction material.

Maybe forever.

I apologize, but I'm not continuing any of my stories.

I don't know if I'll ever continue them, but for now...

Sorry.


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